Are You As Spiritually In Tune As A Third Grader?

Rocker posed a question to my Knight and I that just blew us away with it's depth and thoughtfulness. He asked "Does God love satan?" Taken back by this we asked why do you ask? He answered with "God says to love your enemies and those who hurt you. Satan is hurting God and His people so does He still love him even though he is doing bad things like our enemies?"

Wow!!! We had a few thoughts but nothing that closed the book on that question. It brought up such a great conversation about God's word and His promises and commands

I love kids and the way they stretch and grow you as parents. It was an amazing question with depth and honesty that you can't even find in most christian adults. So what do you think or have you even ever thought about that?

Taking A Big Step

I took a huge step this weekend that I thought I would never take. I stepped down from Children's Ministry completely for at least a year. I know that might not sound big to some but for me it is huge. For the last 10 years I have been in some way volunteering in Children's Ministry at our church. It has been difficult at times but also very rewarding.

My decision came after a month or so of wrestling with the Lord. I heard Him tell me to lay it all down for a season and so I have been dragging my feet. I laid a few things down here and there but in the end He wanted it all. He has called me to relearn who I am in Him this year. I was wrestling so much with Him on this issue because I have allowed my identity to be found in my position as a mom, wife and church worker and so on. Now I know the church is always encouraging us to get connected to a ministry and get involved and this probably sounds like the worst time to be pulling out of ministry but I need to obey right now.

Last fall during my first year at our School Of Ministry I was sitting in one of Pastor Thom's teachings and he was  talking about getting in the presence of God and listening to the Fathers heart. Pastor Thom took the opportunity to quiet the class while he read scripture and then allowed us time to listen for the Father. There I heard the Lord say to me "If you do nothing else in your life but sit in My presence then you will have accomplished everything I have called you to do. Everything else in this world; ministries, positions in church, words of knowledge, healings, missions and so forth are just extras. My one desire is for you to be in my presence and all these other things will flow from your overflow."

It was a hard hitting word for me. I once heard a Pastor say "I don't want to get to heaven and have God play a video of everything He wanted me to accomplish that I didn't get to." That statement thrust me into a works mentality. So now the Lord is taking me on a whole new journey. One where I don't do much but sit in His presence. This will be one very interesting year for me but like a dear friend told me last night I am not going to just sit and wait for this year to pass watching the hours slip by. I will find God in the midst of my quiet days and I will seek His glory. It is time to be led by the still waters.

Marriage As God Sees IT

"In marriage, I have learned there are those who admit they have been through times when they wondered if their marriage would make it, and then there are liars. Relationships are hard, and the closer they are, the harder they can be. I tell everyone that I give premarital counseling to that the Lord has ordained their marriage in order to kill both of them! That is true. It is also worth it! The greatest gift He gave to man was marriage and family. However, to have a marriage that is good, both will have to die to themselves. If either one does not make the commitment to lay down their life for their mate and their family, then what was meant to be heaven can be hell." -Rick Joyner

This quote is so powerful and healing to me. For one thing it releases me from the condemnation that because my Knight and I struggle at times that that doesn't mean something is wrong with us or that we are messed up. Gary Thomas wrote a book titled Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage To Make Us Holy More Than To Make Us Happy? I highly recommend this book. My Knight and I have found over the years the one main theme the Lord reveals to us time and time again through our pain is His faithfulness  to remove things in our lives that are keeping us from intimacy with Him. This includes marriage. 

Our selfish ambitions and desires come to the surface quickly when you share your life with your spouse. I have lived in Hell for a period of time with our marriage and it was all because we were not willing to lay down our flesh and stubbornness and selfish desires for one another. Again like I said about the things I have gone through in my past even if they bring me to the point of death, if it brings me closer to God and to a greater intimacy with Him then they were all worth it. The pain of marriage is worth it all when we come closer to God and one another. Do I like it? No! Would I do it all over again? Yes! If someone gave me the chance to go back through my past and remove all the bad things in my life I would decline. Those things have brought me to the feet of Jesus. My tears have become His. My marriage and family life is still yet another area where God is bringing me closer to Him through the pain.

Let's stop fantasizing about Make-believe marriages where they lived happily ever after. Let's walk in marriages that live through it all no matter how much the storm throws at us. Let's die to live!

So what does this quote invoke in you about your marriage?

I've Got A Lunch Date

Both Shaggy and Rocker asked me to lunch this week. I was shocked! I thought cool 3rd & 4th graders didn't want their dorky mom hanging out with them at school. I was corrected by both of them as they told me "...other parents are dorky but you are still cool mom."

Awwww, thanks guys. I needed that this week. So today I meet with Rocker and tomorrow I meet with Shaggy. I know a lot of other parents have done this before but this is my first time since I have no one at home to tend too. Not looking forward to "Stuffed Shells" Elementary Cafeteria style but our school does not allow parents to bring in their lunch you have to buy. Oh well its for a very good cause. My Knight just told me to not to forget to pray over my meal.

My Life As A Secret Agent

SHHHH! Don't blow my cover!!!

I Think I am Over My Head When It Comes To Pre-Teen Boys

Today we were awakened by a screaming child and not our alarm clock. At 5:55 am this morning Shaggy decided to release his pre-teen angst on his brother Rocker, literally. He punched Rocker in the eye. There's a lot of love here today, not the best way to start your day.

My husband rolled out of bed to asses the situation and I tried rolling over in bed until my Knight came back in and kicked me out so he could talk and disciple Shaggy. UHHHGGG!!!! Come to find out Rocker irritated Shaggy by mocking him while he was setting the table for breakfast. He was trying to surprise us. I know exactly what he's talking about because I have seen Rocker do this before. So now we have two boys to deal with and it isn't 6:30am yet. Shaggy is going through this very difficult stage right now and I feel so unprepared. We have a young man who now is trying to break free from his childhood cocoon and fly into manhood. It's not an easy process. He told us he let his anger get to him and just reacted. He said he wanted to take care of the situation instead of having mom or dad do it. You know the whole "I am an adult now" kind of thinking even though he isn't yet.

He is a wonderful young man. Very loving and caring but he is still a boy going through life trying to be transformed into a man. My Knight also made the comment that Shaggy maybe starting to go through some hormonal switches too. Apparently my Knight was shaving by 12 years old and he thinks he is seeing the signs of testosterone eruptions. UHHHHGGG!!!

All this and I hadn't had my coffee yet. Just too much for me to absorb before 7am in the morning. Now I head off to sit in the Lords lap and ask for help. I may not know what I am doing but at least the Father does. I need some pre-teen downloads right now and I need to war on behalf of my son. I believe we can come through this stronger but I want to hedge Shaggy in so that the enemy cannot steal any of his destiny or purpose through this transition.

I will have to share about Rocker later too. He is going through some kind of funk also. Having 2 boys 15 months a part is wonderful it's just you now have 2 going through similar transitions at the same time. Please pray for me. At least I am still smiling as I desperately clutch my coffee mug slurping down as much caffeine as humanly possible!!!!!

A Child's Heart

A child's heart yearns for words.

Words to bring forth life,

words that birth wings,

words that set them to flight.

Words that allow one so young to

sore on waves of hope.

A child's heart seeks for eyes.

Eyes filled with love,

eyes that are deep pools of mercy,

eyes that cast glances of assurance.

Eyes that hide nothing  but dance with

joy.

A child's heart longs for an embrace.

An embrace during the storm, 

an embrace of healing,

an embrace of refuge and acceptance.

A child's heart lives for the Father,

for His words,

for His eyes,

for His embrace.

Life was given by His Word,

the universe is found in His eyes, 

a tower of refuge is His embrace.

Run, run little one into the Father,

there you will find your hearts desire.