Transition and change are typically ugly words. We don't like them and we don't like to go through them. I know I don't. Right now my family and I are in a big transition and change. We left the church we had known for 13 years and are re-establishing ourselves some where else. It has been HUGE. For me, our prior church was the only church I have really ever known, so leaving felt like leaving home. I grew up sporadically attending churches here and there but never longer than a 2 year period. Then by the time I turned 12 or so my parents never attended another church again.So this time of transition has been really rough on me. I know this is a part of God's plans and we left on very cordial terms, but it doesn't take away the sadness. Unfortunately, some wounds were acquired at our old church, and trust in leadership was greatly damaged. I am finding myself struggling to trust leadership in our new church because of these past wounds. It's not that I haven't gone after healing in those areas, but after learning to duck all the time, you still flinch when you think your going to get hit. It will take some time, I know.
The boys have entered this new transition with open arms as they feel more accepted into this new Body and my Knight has also transitioned well. Me on the other hand, has a lot of trust issues to move through. I also don't want to be used again by ministry so I am moving at the pace of molasses.
My return to school corresponded to our church transition and that has helped me to continue to move forward and not get stuck. I want to love and forgive and move on, but I realize it will be one small step at a time. Transitions and changes come in all shapes and forms so it shouldn't have surprised me that one day we would come to a transition and change within our local church. I just hope our new Body extends some mercy towards me if I seem a little skittish around them; I am still ducking a lot more then I would like to.
2 comments:
Hugs and Happy Mother's Day! Take your time with the transition - it's a big one.
It would be okay for you to make sure you've taken time to heal from those wounds ... Even if your new church body doesn't understand.
Moving forward is also sometimes not our idea - but God's. I don't like that we had to go through our own fires about four years ago. A voice worked against me, undermining me to the authority over me. But it was because of that incident that helped us transition forward.
May you know God's peace in the sweetest of ways. I ask that He sing over you a new song.
Blessings and hugs
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