Warning!!! Girly Post!

I completed the most dreaded shopping trip of the season, I went to get a new swim suit. After pulling out our summer things I happily piled my old suit on the bed. To my dismay my Knight abruptly asked "Aren't you getting a new one?" Gasp!!!! My mind was going wild with the various inferences that could be taken from that statement.

Being very put out I asked Him why. He said it was because of the top. It was a tankinee and the bra was getting all wonky. Every time I put it on I had to straighten out the top so I didn't look like I had 4 boobies. It was a favorite of mine and so after a couple years it was looking a little worn.

Reluctantly I went out to shop thinking if I headed out early enough in the season I could find something I really liked and not just what was left over. I don't know how many suits I tried on but it was at least 4 trips to the changing room with piles of suits. I took in the maximum amount allowed in there. Each time I walked a little slower and my head hung a little lower. The big thing is they don't make cute bathing suits any more for women. The teeny boppers have these cute looking suits but are as skimpy as all get out. I don't like it all hanging out and there are some parts of me that others really don't want hanging out any more either. I wanted cute and pretty but not slinky and skimpy.

Finally I found a pair of shorts that were actually bathing suit bottoms and a long top. It's cute, it's fun and it's concealing enough in the areas that need to be. The top also supports my boobies enough that it doesn't make them look like just another roll on my body. The picture is my actual suit. The funniest thing of it all is I showed my boys the suit when they got home. When they saw it they all sighed this huge sigh of relief. I inquired about their reaction. Shaggy told me "I like it, I am just glad it's shorts. Your other suit made you look like you were wearing your underwear." I then gasped! My underwear?! I explained that girls suits are different then guys but they still insisted it just looks like underwear. Oh well. Part of me can't believe that's what they thought and part of me is glad they are a little more conservative.

Now I take a big sigh of relief knowing I am done with that, although after all that time in the changing rooms I am ready to seriously get to exercising. That was a big wake up call for me! I hate shopping, especially swim suit shopping! YUCK!!!!

The Embarassing Ordeal At the Pharmacy

Yesterday I had to go to the Pharmacy to pick up a bucket load of prescriptions for my bronchitis and sinus infection. It was after school let up so the boys were with me. It's not really bad taking the boys places any more. They are pretty good and nothing near like it was when they were all under 4.

I had to wait a little longer than normal to have them filled out since there were 4 prescriptions all together. We did run around the grocery store for a little and I let the boys pick out their own soda or drink of their choice (that's a big thing in our house). After a paid for that stuff we walked back to the Pharmacy department to wait some more.

Well the funniest thing happened. The boys got busy looking at all the pharmacy stuff for sale on the wall next to the pick-up window. It was maily diabetic strips and testers and things. Then they followed the wall to the end. To my horror I relized they were looking and pointing to the Birth Control/Pregnacy test wall. They were litterally pointing and touching the boxs of condoms all neatly displayed. As I gasped I realized there were other adults around them pointing and looking very disgusted as these three young men seem to be captivated by the boxes of condoms.

I yelled, queitly (if that is at all possible) "Boys, get over here." All the people turned to see they belonged to me. I burst into laughter as the boys walked over. I asked them "What in the world are you looking at?" One of them replied they were looking at the Trojan boxes, were they trading cards? I began to laugh even harder. "No, the are certainly not trading cards?" Rocker and Shaggy thought it was about the Trojan horse and the Greeks and all that.

So when they realized it wasn't trading cards they asked what were they. I said they were condoms. Now take into consideration I am standing in line with other adults all around me waiting on their meds so I am trying to keep our voices down. Shaggy pipes up really loud "Condoms!"

I tried shushing him but now all three were in a frenzy trying to guess what condoms were. Oh my word!!! We have had the "Talk" with the two older ones and we even had this specific topic but for some reason they didn't remember. So I quickly and queitly explain what it was. The two olders ones said very loudly, "Oh yeah, I remember!" and then squirmed around and made disgusted faces. DK who wasn't privy to the converstaion because he was fliting around the bake goods counter came back singing a song about condoms. The child sings and dances constantly but why a song about condoms only the Lord knows.

So they call me to the counter. I quickly snatched the meds and rushed my embarassing crew out to the car to finish our conversation. Then at breakfast this morning they remembered to share this all with their dad. My Knight almost split his side laughing so hard. I asked him why is it he is never around for this stuff? Why do I get all the sex questions and conversations? He smile and replied "You are a mom of three boys, get used to it."

So if you ever see three boys about 10, 8 & 6 standing around the condom display rack don't panic just look for the woman trying to hide in the corner of the store, it's probably my three learning more facts of life or disusing the Trojan wars.

All Done Christmas Shopping

Let's just say I couldn't have done it without eBay and online shopping. Now I am really happy because I don't have to go into stores filled with mad christmas shoppers!!!!!!!

Shopping Woes!!!!

O.K., so I hate shopping to begin with, but of course leave it to my boys to do something forcing me to go to the stores and get new clothes for them. We have an ongoing coat battle in our house. They don't last. Right in the middle of winter someone rips or some how destroys their coat. It never fails. Last year the Shag Man tore his heavy winter jacket in two. IN TWO!!! How is that possible you say? Well he jumped off the rock climbing wall at school and caught his jacket on one of the hand holds. He snagged it perfectly at the seam and came home with two jackets.

Now the really funny part about that story is his teacher called home to make sure I would not get upset with him. Honestly by now I am used to this whole deal. However, the Shag Man informed his teacher that I told him if he tore one more thing of clothing I would put him in a skirt. Oops, I did kind of make that remark once. Shopping once for pants that we can't keep knees in I did happen to joke with him about how I would make him wear kilts if he ripped another pair of pants. That was difficult to explain.

So now back to this year. Rocker ripped the zipper right off his jacket. He came home with it flapping in the breeze and has no idea how it happened. Oh, boy. Like a good mom I couldn't stand to have him coatless in the middle of winter so I go shopping again.

What is wrong with retail stores these days. It's the middle of January and there were bikinis and suntan lotion out. Nobody had winter clothes. AHHHGG!!!! The only time I go to multiple stores in one day is at Christmas time. I had to go to every store on our side of the river. Finally Penny's still carries winter clothes. Well after an excruciating day of shopping it was miraculously redeemed at Penny's. I got Rocker a $80.00 coat for $11.00. I think the Lord was extending me mercy for this horrible day. Happily Drama King and I went home and later that night we gave the coat to Rocker. Everything fits and he likes the color. Few!!! So now can anyone tell me of a good, indestructible brand of jacket I can get the boys? I am actually willing to pay good money for it, if it really stands up to the testing of my kids. Remember with three boys nicely spread apart in age it can be handed down. Please Help Me!!!!!!

The innocent years of winter before
they turned into international jacket assassins.

Vertical or Horizontal Stripes

The other day I had the unfortunate business of returning a Christmas gift. You know one of those pieces of clothing that look great in the store on display but was never intended for an actual human person to wear. Well the task was even greater because I had to take all three boys. Now you must understand I actually don't like shopping. I am a get in, get out kind of gal, but with three boys in toe it was not going to be that easy.

After a long process of exchanging the garment for a store gift card we headed to the women's department. I heard a dozen complaints and "Aren't we done yet?" before we even passed the main entrance. Well I know this wasn't going to be fun so I was going to make it as painless as possible and hurry through the clothes to find something. Of course no one else was getting the point so the three of them lagged behind.

Finally I found a sweater I liked and was holding it up determining the proper size when Rocker, my middle son, approached and asked if that's what I wanted. I told him yes I just needed to find my size. With a very disgusted look on his face he promptly told "Mommy you know stripes this way makes you look fat but stripes up and down make you look skinny. I wouldn't get that." Well blow me away I was stunned and in shock and stood there staring at him. How did he know that and when did he become my fashion consultant? He then proceeded to rifle through the sweaters and picked out a solid color. "Here mommy this is pretty and it would go well with your dirty blond hair." Adding insult to injury my mouth hung open. Is my hair really dirty blond? This is my son isn't it? I looked around to see if I could spot TV camera's maybe I was on some reality show or something.

I informed Rocker (who is turning 8 at the end of Jan.) that I really liked the sweater and I didn't think my hair was dirty blond. We debated back and forth for a few more moments on these pressing issues until I realized Shaggy was trying to get Drama King, the youngest, to hide in between clothes racks and then ditch his younger brother. I gathered my crew together and picked up my sweater (the one with horizontal stripes because I really liked it) and headed to the cashier. While waiting to check out Rocker reassured me of his love and that I would look beautiful with whatever I wore. As I quote "It's whats inside of you mommy that counts even if you wear the wrong stripes."

Even without girls I still am critiqued on hair and clothes styles. So what do you think horizontal or vertical stripes, or you just don't care like me? Just a side note Rocker was actually not being disrespectful during this entire exchange. He really seemed concerned for my poor fashion choice.