Monday, December 29, 2008

Another Family Moment With The Lord

Today at breakfast we had another great moment when we collaborated as a unit with the Lord. I have been praying for the boys that they would have dreams and encounters with the Lord in the night. For the past three weeks now they each have had many dreams with powerful meanings. This morning Shaggy shared with me and Rocker and DK that he had a strange dream last night and wanted to know what it meant.

I asked him if he could share with us at breakfaast and he agreed. This was his dream..."We were at a toy store, I think looking for a toy for me. There were two isles. One bad and one good (I asked him to explain why they were distinctly bad and good). He said one was filled with K'nex toys and some kind of magnetic toys and the other was filled with witchcraft toys, ghosts and stuff. Rocker and he crept on the floor and went over to the bad isle were they saw a box with a skeleton raising someone back to life. They didn't touch it or pick it up but then ran over to the good isle, picked out a K'nex box and took it home to play with. It was a K'nex roller coaster."

So this is where my Knight and I have learned to not interpret or hear from the Lord for our  children but to encourage them to hear and listen for themselves. It's way more powerful when they receive the revelation from God and you can encourage them that they are hearing correctly. So I ask the Lord (out loud) "What do you want Shaggy to know about this dream?" Some things started to come to me immediately but I just bookmarked them and waited on Shaggy. Rocker and DK said they heard too and I asked them kindly to hold on to it until Shaggy gets something.

Shaggy said he heard the Lord tell him that the K'nex side was God's side and the witchcraft side was satan's side. Even though he went over there to look he did not pick up anything on satan's side and came back to God's side. I just kept asking God questions out loud to Shaggy and waiting for a response from him. Then when the Lord seemed to be done with Shaggy I let Rocker share. He heard the Lord saying that it was a warning to be careful to guard ourselves. That was right on too. I heard the Lord say it immediately when Shaggy started to share. DK said satan and his stuff is bad (very cool revelation for a 6 year old!).

So we each continued to talk and build on revelation upon revelation with what the Lord was sharing with each of us. No one person was the interpreter but each of us heard clearly from the Lord and I would just affirm their hearts. In the end the Lord showed us that the K'nex represented the gifts and things of His Kingdom He wanted us to have and that the enemy is right next to us always trying to show us a counterfeit. Our spirits as a family are naturally drawn into the supernatural and we have to guard ourselves from being curious of satan's power. I shared a little of my personal testimony with the boys and seeing satan's power first hand and how it can draw you if you let it. As an encouraging thought I shared that the Lord showed Shaggy he and Rocker just looked at the package, they didn't touch it or buy it and then went back to the other isle. I felt strongly that the Lord was showing them they will not fall into that stuff. Of course then they were able to see they got a better toy or should I say gift. They got the K'nex roller coaster. Talk about God taking them for a awesome ride in their life.

Well, a long and wordy post about how we roll in the spirit. Next time your kids ask you about a question regarding the Lord ask the Lord out loud the question and direct it back to them. Encourage them to listen for the answer. Help when they need some guidance but allow them to hear the voice of God. It is an amazing thing to witness. 

I am sure there is more to this dream. I will probably pray about this some more and talk to my Knight about it but for now the Lord revealed what He wanted to, to Shaggy. God is good!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

The Joys Of Christmas Found in the Most Unusual Places

  1. Taking our Elderly Neighbor Miss Hope to the boys Christmas concert at School. She was thrilled.
  2. Handing out homemade fudge to our neighbors and seeing smiles replace the worries and cares of the holiday season.
  3. Hearing my sons say their excitement isn't about the presents this year but having "family" over on Christmas.
  4. Hanging out with a dear friend yesterday on an impromptu outing.
  5. Wrapping Miss Hopes Christmas gifts for her because it hurts her hands to wrap now a days.
  6. Knowing that tomorrow will be filled with excitement and relaxation. We can just be ourselves.
  7. Spending a quiet evening with my Knight tonight. The kids will go to bed on time( I wore them out today) and we wrapped all our gifts weeks ago. So we can sit looking at the Christmas lights enjoying each others company.
This Christmas has been a healing journey for me and I know I have over come my angst about the Christmas season. We kept it low key and relaxed and I was able to see the simple pleasures of this season. God is good and his love endures forever!!!

Monday, December 22, 2008

Calling All Bloggy Friends in Central Pa...

If you have jeans, old, tattered, ripped, that don't fit any more don't throw them out!!! Please let me know. I am planning on weaving a denim rug and I need some old jeans. My Knight just donated a good pair to me after he ripped them in church service last weekend but they don't have to be good they can be well worn.

Any color too. White, faded, dark I need them all, about 46 to be exact. I plan on going to Salvation Army to get some but just wanted to send out a call for free ones somebody might want to pitch. So collect and call me and I will pick em' up!!

Thanks you guys!!!

Friday, December 19, 2008

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Things I Like About Christmas...

I thought I needed a little bit lighter post since the last one. So here is one of my favorite things about Christmas. See if you can guess...

The best part is eating them. I love that at Christmas time you can gorge your self on goodies and blame it all on the Holiday's. Yummmm!!

The Part Of Christmas I Hate!!!

Christmas is not my favorite holiday. From childhood memories I have come to hate Christmas at times. I have gotten better about this but I feel it creeping back upon me again.

I love celebrating the birth of our saviour and coming together with family and friends but I hate the commercialization of it all. I hate that instead of the years gone by when you gave because you truly wanted to you now are just expected to. For many it may not be so but for us who live on such a tight budget Christmas is filled with anxiety. I know, I know I need healing in this area but there are valid reasons why.

Just this week my husband had to chip in and buy each of his coworkers a gift from the Management team. Then he had to chip in for some gifts for his managers. Unexpected monies taken from an already depleted budget. Then I get the letters from teachers about gift exchanges at school, donations for party supplies and the list goes on. I even tried my best to skirt around this by volunteering to come up with games for the  school parties. Unbeknown to me the person who volunteers for the games then supplies all the needed items. It honestly makes me not want to give any more because I am expected to give.

I am really struggling today with Christmas. I have some dear friends I would like to bless but with the demands of the holidays they get put on the back burner. I don't want this any more. My husband and I are also trying very hard to get out of debt but try explaining that to your boss or child's teacher when they are hounding you for more money. Churches do it too and so do many organizations. "Let's have a gift exchange at our party. Only a ten dollar limit." What they don't understand is for those families out there that are scrimping to get by ten dollars might cut into their food budget or gas funds.

When can we get back to the simplicity of Christmas? The homemade gifts, the joy of just being with one another. I am sorry for this depressing post right before Christmas but this has been weighing heavily on my mind and I just feel the weight of it on my shoulders. I want to enjoy Christmas this year and not worry about how much will have to go on the credit card because we just can't afford to do everything, everyone expects us to do this holiday season. I just honestly want to enjoy Christmas for once in my life.

Monday, December 15, 2008

More Embarrassing Moments At the Livin' Household

Just trying to exist in an all male household can be difficult at times but for some reason God placed these three amazing young men in my life to make life exciting and very humbling. Today a dear bloggy & in real life friend stopped by to drop of goodies and a christmas card. I was in the shower at the time while Shaggy was home from school (he was actually sick today).

She must have knocked on the door and Shaggy went to see who it was. All I know of what happened next is from the retelling of Shaggy so here goes...

"Mom some lady I think I remember but don't remember her name dropped these off for you while you were in the shower (he hands me the card and goodies). Because I couldn't remember her too well I didn't open the door just cranked out the window and she handed them through."

It was our broken window too so I asked how he shut the window afterwards. He told me he watched until she drove away ran outside and pushed the window closed and then ran back inside. Sheesh! I just laughed and called her up to leave a message  letting her know how sorry I was that she had to participate in our walk up window delivery system. I am so sorry.

Then later that day the delivery guy shows up to give us our new dryer. Not ready for this event I left my bra's and things hanging downstairs. I chase Shaggy down to grab them off the line  while I tried to keep them busy upstairs so he could get them down and hide them so they wouldn't have to see my under-thingy's. To my dismay by the time I get to the basement with the delivery men my wonderful son turns to us with bra's and panties in hand asking "Are these what you want me to hide?" (I have to explain that one of those undergarments so boldly displayed by my son had "All eyes on me" written across them) I turned every shade of red while I ripped them out of his hands and flung them into a corner of our basement and thanked Shaggy for his help a little sarcastically. The guys just laughed.

Oh my, nothing is personal in our house. Being the only woman is just so darn hard.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

99 Things....

I saw this on Beautiful Grace's blog and TCC's blog. I counted 50 things plus added some of my own. It was fun to think of all the crazy things I have done and I am still up for more!!!!

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars 
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed/hiked a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child (does wanting too count)
16. Had food poisoning 
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train (in China)
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping 
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Witnessed a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise -
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie (does a documentary count)
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching 
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving (totally want too)
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades -
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a Bone - 
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox 
89. Saved someone’s life
91. Met someone famous( Bruce Willis when he returned to his home in NJ for a visit)
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby - 
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Participated in the Mummers Parade in Philly
101. Rode in the Rodeo
102. Water skied
103. Made my on clothes
104. Was on the 700Club
105. Saved way ward Possums as a kid and then set them free.
106. Skinned a sheep
107. Milked sheep, goats and cows

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Trying To Change

I was trying to change my template for the blog today and for some reason it comes up with an error. Not sure why. I probably need someone with more computer knowledge than me so for right now it will be plain white until the issue is resolved.

Maybe by Friday I can get it to work.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Switchfoot: This is Home - Music Video from Prince Caspian

One of my favorite groups singing for one of my favorite movies/books. I heard the Lord speak over me through this about my family. I am glad the Lord helped me to find my home!

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

The Story Behind The Weaving

I made a hand woven table runner for our Mom's group at church to give away at their annual Christmas Coffee House next week. It was something I was looking forward to do for a long time now. With the kids off at school for a few hours I could work child-free in the morning.

It's funny how the Lord speaks to me. Not through fire or thunder but the small still voice and weaving. This project was supposed to be easy peasy but it turned out to be my most difficult. Not in ability or design but in problems.

I faced more problems with this project than any other I have ever done before and I have done larger, harder projects than this. I was struggling to get going on this. From the beginning I was running into the kids tangling the warp and threading problems with the heddles. At times I was ready to give up and throw in the towel but this is what the Lord spoke to me during the whole project...
"I don't give up. People are just like your project. I have chosen just the right design and pattern. I hand picked the yarn that would be perfect for each person. Each gifting, each talent and each purpose was chosen by Me. I had a great purpose and design from the beginning. Like your project life will change and situations will begin to tangle my design. People will hurt you and your threads may come unraveled. This was not my plan just as these things were not in your plan for your project but I keep going because I see the final project. As the Master Weaver I can fix each situation just as you have been doing. You untangle the thread with care. Gently without damaging the warp. You repair broken threads and rethread the heddles that come undone. Keep in mind the final project. Some may say they are too difficult for Me to make into something beautiful but I say no way. I can make beauty out of ashes. I take what others give up on and create a master piece. My people will be beautiful works of art even in the midst of problems. No one is too difficult or unworthy for Me. I love them all and love weaving each of them together."
With each word I  God spoke to me I kept going and pressing on. With each difficulty I faced the Lord continued to speak to me more and more about His undying love. I believe He was speaking to me directly and to others. Especially the beautiful woman this project will go to on Tue. I have had difficultly but the end result was beautiful. This project spoke to me in so many ways I hope it speaks to you also. We are worth it. We are created to be beautiful creations of the Father. He can take every circumstance in our life and weave it into the ultimate design.

Father I pray that who ever gets this project Tue. night will be blessed. That they would be filled with the knowledge of how wonderfully and fearfully they are made. That they would see that all they have been through is being woven into something beautiful by the Father Himself. May they hear these words and see the project and know how much you love and cherish them.

Just a little of what's been going on today with the project. I will have the unveiling tomorrow!

Working, working, working...

I am trying really hard to finish up the weaving project for MIA next week. To my horror I had the wrong date on my calendar. I thought it was dec 16th and it's really next Tue. Oh, My!!! I have got to move it. I am also trying to sew a dress for that evening to wear to the Christmas Coffee House. It's looking a little bit like I might not make it now with the date moved up on me. I was hoping to bring in the table runner, while wearing a new dress (made by me) and some hand-made jewelry( also made by me). :(

Oh, well maybe by the Christmas Celebration at church. Anyway can't talk must work. If I get on this computer any time the rest of this week you have my permission to leave me a comment and tell me to get off and get back to work. The next time I post I want to have pictures of the final project. Ok,  I am getting back to work people!!!!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Things We've Been Up Too...

We made our Christmas Stockings.
As you can tell the boys love their teams.
I grabbed some polar fleece and fun fur and
sewed up some fun stockings for them.
3 feet of snow over Thanksgiving in NY. Even 
in the difficulty of the visit it was neat to see
God's beauty in nature.
Our enormous snowman in NY.
That's Aunt Crystal standing by our creation 
to give you an idea about how tall it was. I
think they measured it to be 6 & 1/2 ft.

Rocker learning to crochet.
So far he loves making chains and rounds. We 
made a little mouse.
Star Wars Lego Creations
The boys had a great time setting up this display.
They were in the their bedroom working so hard.

Apple Fritter Making Day!
The boys are hard at work. They had to roll them
to coat the outside of the fritters. I think it was
one for the container and one for me.

In the midst of the craziness we have been having some fun. An update on the dryer...
someone has blessed us with a brand new one. It was a completely amazing blessing 
and we are just so thankful!!!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

From Christmas Past

My Knight is on the once a year blogging program so I get to snag one of his family's stories for the Holidays. I just think this is so funny and really epitomizes his entire family. We are heading up there tomorrow about 4am.

Well, my Knight had a Great Uncle Tom who was known for making everything by duck tape and coming up with unique contraptions. He was also a huge railroad fan in his day. Uncle Tom and Aunt Marion have past on now but their memories will always be with us. They were definitely a life loving couple.

Aunt Marion was known as the lady who would bring pie and green bean casserole to Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner. She would throw everything together for the pies and casserole. Then in Uncle Tom fashion they would wrap the pies and casserole in aluminum foil. Here's the best part.... Uncle Tom calculated how hot the engine of their car would get heading up the highway to My Knights family's house and how long it took to get there. He perfected this until each Thanksgiving and Christmas they would duck tape the dishes to the top of the engine under the hood and drive up for the holidays. By the time they arrived the pie was perfectly baked and the casserole was completely cooked. How this happened I am still amazed.  Personally I never was able to partake in this amazing meal because they both passed away before we were married. I asked my Knight if it tasted like gasoline, oil or fumes but he insists it's the best darn pies and casserole he ever had, except for mine. :)

This is a true story. Honest, I hear about it every year. The kids (my husband is #2 out of 7) would all run out to meet Uncle Tom and watch him lift up the hood of his car to get the food. It is a little back woods were my husband grew up but I guess they were very ingenious. I would still probably not be able to eat it knowing it was near fuel and oil but it didn't hurt my Knight any.

So Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!

Monday, November 24, 2008

A Breakthrough For Me

Is it OK to be a little open and honest here? I have been struggling for some time with rejection in my life. It seems with every breath I take I am faced with the onslaught of rejection. Over the years it isolated me and caused me to step into some very dark corners of fear but recently I have been making some head way. Well, not me but God has been making some head way in my life.

I wanted to see a really big break through lately in this area. Not just to be abel to recognize the sting of rejection right away and deal with it with the Lord but maybe, possibly to not even feel the sting any more. To walk in security of who I am as a daughter of the Most High God. Yes, my rejection issues stem from my identity or what I wrapped my identity around.

This year off has been awesome to just sit in His presence and hear the Father say I am His over and over again. Apparently it's sinking in. Saturday night during service I felt so at peace for the first time in 11 years. I mean it. It sounds sad, I know, to think someone can sit in the service of a wonderful church and not find peace. My anxiety was not brought on by the fact that I wasn't born again but by the fact I was an orphan. I came knowing I was part of the gathering but not a part of the family. I used to struggle every service with "Will they notice me? Why can't I get a word? Why are they special and not me?" This is the honesty part I was talking about. I battled with feeling left out, like I was an invisible women. I felt like I needed to jump up and down and throw a tantrum in front of the entire congregation just so they would know I was there.

I needed to be recognized by someone!!!

Now I know who I needed that from. I needed it from the Father not people. Any time I tried getting that need met from others I was rejected. Thus the vicious cycle. I felt so at peace this service. I walked in as family knowing my place and seeing others as sisters and brothers. Think of it, you don't mind supporting your sister or brother in their talent or gift do you. Family loves seeing each other reach to new heights but outsiders want to fight for their position and surely cannot encourage others like family does.

This incredible weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I didn't care if the Lord didn't formally recognize me this weekend because I knew who I was. I saw Him standing next to me the whole time. Oddly enough I saw Him standing next to each person and their was no jealousy. I Love It!!!!

Will I face rejection again at some point? Most definitely, but this time I am prepared to walk it out in a whole other way. I take it to Father, let Him correct my view and walk out of it stronger than before. Let's grab a hold of our identity in Christ. It brings freedom and life. I can't wait till the day that the Body at large charges forward into the enemy's territory as an Army of One. It's Time!!!!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

The Embarassing Ordeal At the Pharmacy

Yesterday I had to go to the Pharmacy to pick up a bucket load of prescriptions for my bronchitis and sinus infection. It was after school let up so the boys were with me. It's not really bad taking the boys places any more. They are pretty good and nothing near like it was when they were all under 4.

I had to wait a little longer than normal to have them filled out since there were 4 prescriptions all together. We did run around the grocery store for a little and I let the boys pick out their own soda or drink of their choice (that's a big thing in our house). After a paid for that stuff we walked back to the Pharmacy department to wait some more.

Well the funniest thing happened. The boys got busy looking at all the pharmacy stuff for sale on the wall next to the pick-up window. It was maily diabetic strips and testers and things. Then they followed the wall to the end. To my horror I relized they were looking and pointing to the Birth Control/Pregnacy test wall. They were litterally pointing and touching the boxs of condoms all neatly displayed. As I gasped I realized there were other adults around them pointing and looking very disgusted as these three young men seem to be captivated by the boxes of condoms.

I yelled, queitly (if that is at all possible) "Boys, get over here." All the people turned to see they belonged to me. I burst into laughter as the boys walked over. I asked them "What in the world are you looking at?" One of them replied they were looking at the Trojan boxes, were they trading cards? I began to laugh even harder. "No, the are certainly not trading cards?" Rocker and Shaggy thought it was about the Trojan horse and the Greeks and all that.

So when they realized it wasn't trading cards they asked what were they. I said they were condoms. Now take into consideration I am standing in line with other adults all around me waiting on their meds so I am trying to keep our voices down. Shaggy pipes up really loud "Condoms!"

I tried shushing him but now all three were in a frenzy trying to guess what condoms were. Oh my word!!! We have had the "Talk" with the two older ones and we even had this specific topic but for some reason they didn't remember. So I quickly and queitly explain what it was. The two olders ones said very loudly, "Oh yeah, I remember!" and then squirmed around and made disgusted faces. DK who wasn't privy to the converstaion because he was fliting around the bake goods counter came back singing a song about condoms. The child sings and dances constantly but why a song about condoms only the Lord knows.

So they call me to the counter. I quickly snatched the meds and rushed my embarassing crew out to the car to finish our conversation. Then at breakfast this morning they remembered to share this all with their dad. My Knight almost split his side laughing so hard. I asked him why is it he is never around for this stuff? Why do I get all the sex questions and conversations? He smile and replied "You are a mom of three boys, get used to it."

So if you ever see three boys about 10, 8 & 6 standing around the condom display rack don't panic just look for the woman trying to hide in the corner of the store, it's probably my three learning more facts of life or disusing the Trojan wars.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

I'm a Bow!!

You Are a Bow

You don't think of it as the holiday season - you think of it as the present season!

What Christmas Ornament Are You?

I do like gifts but more on the giving side then receiving. It kills me to keep them all a secret until Christmas because I just want to surprise everyone now. I love seeing their eye light up when the kids get a special present! It sounds bad but I do like the present season!

Monday, November 17, 2008

a Precious Moment

Tonight was a precious moment. We have a 73 year old lady who lives two houses down from ours that has become the neighborhood great-grand mom. Every day after school (as long as it's not raining) the boys run down to check on Miss Hope. She smiles so big and says to them "Come in, come in. Twak to me." She was born Porto Rico and raised in the Bronx. Uprooted to Pa when her kids were little. She has lived here ever since.

A lot of our neighbors take care of her and check in but we love to do the same too. She has family close by but she so loves the boys dropping in to say hello. In the summer time she always has ice cream treats and popsicles for them. We have brought her food and gifts in the past but today I felt nudged to ask her to dinner. I guess I have been so busy lately I just never thought about it before. But now the Lord has cleared my schedule and I feel its time, probably over due.

So I made home made Cheese Broccoli Soup and brownies and had Miss Hope over. It was so wonderful. Her family is from Porto Rico and she loved teaching the boys some Spanish. Her actual name is Esperanza which means Hope. When she enteren school in the Bronx the teachers did not want to pronounce her Spanish name so they began to call her Hope. It stuck.

She had so much fun and so did we. The boys and her went through my Knights Baseball card collection and she rambled off all the stats on every player. She is a huge Yankees fan. I just love her. So after 3 hours of food and fun we walked her home and she thanked me for a wonderful night. Then she stopped and turned and thanked me for a wonderful friendship. I just about broke into tears. In her strong New York accent she said to me "We must do this again, my dear."

"Absolutely, Hope." I replied. She blew me a kiss good night and I headed back home. My heart is filled and I realize how much I love connecting with others. I love hearing the stories from years gone by, sharing moments with new moms as their kiddos experience the next stage, gathering with friends for prayer and reaching out to those who just need someone who cares. I may not run to the big parties or hang out with the most popular at church or in life for that matter but you can always find me with those who light up my world... my family and anyone out there who others may tend to forget about. This is where I find my purpose and my joy just cooking dinner for someone and listening to their heart.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

A Slap On My Wrist

Early in the morning you are faced with your child melting down at the bus stop. Instead of reacting you just simply say let's go home and talk. You don't force the child on the bus to go to school screaming and crying. You then call the school and let them know the honest truth. You don't lie and tell them he isn't feeling well, you tell them he is emotionally spent right now and needs a mental health day.

You then spend the morning drinking coffee with him and spending time with him talking and doing things. He improves. The next morning you send him back with a note telling the school of his absence and reason. Again no illness just emotionally distraught. You make an appointment to go in and talk with one of your counseling Pastors and let the school know about this so they will let him out next week.

You get a phone call from the school guidance counselor intern about 3:30pm that afternoon. In all her kindness and sincerity she explains to you that your son acquired an unexcused absence for that day and that if it continues we will then have to face the administration for allowing your child to miss school. She thanked me for making an appointment with a counselor but emphasised if you child continues you must bring him to school any way and leave him in the office where they will transition him.

Sigh............all I was trying to do was help my son and love on him. I felt it was necessary and felt strongly that the Lord did not want me to lie about why he was home. I did not get upset with the young women and understood her position but still in some way it hurts. I do not do this on a regular basis and my kids have an awesome track record at school. So why can't the school be encouraged that a mom and dad are interested in the well being of their son even if it is for his emotional well being. So what do you think? Was I wrong or is this where the school system steps their boundaries? I don't know I am honestly going to have to process this one with the Lord. My kids mean the world to me and I guess if their well being means a slap on my wrist then I am going to have to take it.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Do You Know Me?

Got this great Quiz from Beautiful Grace!!

How Much Do You Know Livin'
1) What type of schooling did I have?

home schooled

Public School

Private School

A & B

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The 5 Love Languages of Children

It's a book by Gary Chapman & Ross Campbell. It is based off of the book The Five Love Languages that Gary Chapman also authored. We picked up a copy the other day and my Knight and I have been reading it. For the most part the Love Languages are the same but it helps to explain how children express them differently than adults do. The best part is it has a Love Language test at the end of the book for your kids to take. It's similar to the one in the other book but kids understand it. So we had the boys take the test. We were right on with Rocker and Shaggy because they are similar to my husband and I but Drama King blew us away. Here are the results....

Shaggy's Love Languages (1-least used 10- most used)

Physical Touch- 3
Words Of Affirmation- 2
Gifts- 4
Acts Of Service- 4
Quality Time- 7
Rocker's Love Languages
Physical Touch- 5
Words Of Affirmation- 1
Gifts- 6
Acts of Service- 1
Quality Time- 7
DK's Love Languages
Physical Touch-4
Words of Affirmation- 1
Gifts- 5
Acts of Service- 3
Quality Time- 7

The funny thing is how high each of them scored on Quality Time. Now my Knight and I are going to re-evaluated how we express our love to each of them . For me Physical Touch is easy because I flow naturally in Physical Touch as my main Love Language where as for my Knight that is harder for him. Quality Time won't be too hard either because that is both  our top Love Languages. The only problem comes by the finding of time for Quality Time.

The book also stressed that their Love Languages may changed with them as they grow and go through various stages of life but for now it helps us identify how we can best show our love to them at this time. We might need to work a little on this.

I guess I am writing this to encourage parents and spouses to take a look at this. It has helped us a lot in our marriage and I believe it will help us communicate love to our children very effectively. Go out and give it a try.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Bus Stop Confessions

The greatest part about being a mom is seeing your children move in the Spirit. Sometimes that means they have words for you as their parent. In our house we have taught our boys to hear the voice of God and also given them the ability to speak in love and truth to us. They do it respectably and honorably.

Yesterday heading to the bus stop the boys and I were talking about the School of Ministry class I am taking at our Church. They wanted to know what I was learning and what the Lord was speaking to me. As I was sharing Rocker just kinda stopped in the alley we take to the bus stop. He said to me "Mom, you know dad loves you." His eye were sincere and loving. I told him yes. He continued "When you and dad fight you say things like he doesn't love you but he really does and I think he is really trying to show you. He doesn't always get it right but dad loves you and us." Shaggy was standing there staring at me and so was DK. Their hearts were filled with absolute love. No disrespect but just truth. Shaggy agreed and added with "He does love you mom he just sometimes doesn't always show it. I know he loves me too."

I felt like a cartoon character that just had an anvil dropped on my head. They were speaking directly from the heart of the Father. The Lord had been talking to me about this very thing in my quiet time. I asked for forgiveness in the way I have talked to my Knight in front of them and how I have treated their father when I was angry. I confessed to them I had been wrong and I wanted to change. I asked them to pray for me. Within moments we were back on track to the bus stop and now talking about the new playground they were going to build at our local park.

The significance of those words and the prophetic timing was amazing. Late that afternoon Plain and Simple called out of the blue to offer baby sitting so my Knight and I could go out on a date. When I told him at work what Plain & Simple offered guess what my Knight wanted to do? Go watch Fireproof. I had not told him about what the boys shared with me. I watched that evening and the Lord ministered to me powerfully. I talked with Rocker and Shaggy as we were all driving home and told them how right on they were with hearing from the Lord and how prophetic their words were. I thanked them for being obedient to the Holy Spirit but also speaking in such love and honor.

My children have a voice in our house and it has brought more healing in our lives then any word we have ever gotten from another person. Let's train our children to hear and speak the voice of God.

Friday, November 7, 2008

So Much... Overflowing

There is so much on my heart right now it is overflowing....

A deep desire to go higher and reach up into the heavens.

Time of preparation for the remnant church in America.

Knowledge and joy of all God has done for me.

Joy to be a mom and raise a generation of History Makers.

Ability to go through the fire and come out refined not singed.

Prayer for our Nation because much will be coming.

Heart cry for the church to arise in this hour, the wheat and tears will be sifted.

To know I have been called and chosen  beyond my own means. Nothing I did but the pure love of God.

Seeing your children grow in their true Christ centered identities. Awesome.

Leaving this world behind and setting my eyes on God.

Picking up my sword and preparing for battle!!!

We have been called for such a time as this.

Thursday, November 6, 2008


A week or so ago my family and I were over at our dear friends house (aka spiritual family). We get together to laugh, cry and pray. We have also been stretching each other by staying accountable to one another as sisters and brothers in Christ. Well that evening they shared with me how they noticed I tend to tear my self down a lot. My Knight agreed and I know he has actually talked to me about this before. I just didn't believe him. See I don't always see it. I say things and don't realize what I am saying about myself.

I grew up like this. If you didn't joke about yourself then someone else would. If you tried to say you were good at something than you were stuck up. I grew up with all that false humility crap in my life but even now it still haunts me. The problem though is I don't know when I begin to tear myself down. It just has become second nature. So the three of them (my husband, spiritual sister and spiritual brother) said they needed a code word they could say to get me to realize I was heading down that self destructive path. My sis said "Muskrat". We all joked and thought it was funny. My husband actually used it the other day and it worked. We were talking about something and then all of a sudden he said "Muskrat". At first I didn't get it and I replied with "What??!!" He smiled and said it again. By that time I got it and we were able to talk about the conversation.

The really funny thing happened today though. I wanted a picture of a muskrat so I went online to look them up. First of all they are ugly little creatures. I mean look at that stupid little white mustache and wiry tail. Then I read an article about one that destroyed a town. I believe it was in 2000 with all the flooding up and down the Mississippi River. A small town in Mississippi set up a sand barrier to keep the approaching flood waters out. Everything was going well. The sand barrier was working until someone noticed a rodent like creature out on the middle of the barrier. It was a muskrat. That pesky critter burrowed right though the barrier and water came pouring through. They were all helpless to do anything. One lady commented about getting a gun and shooting it but by that time it had already damaged their only hope. Within a few hours the barrier broke and water came rushing into the town. Muskrat's burrow under and through everything. They are actually a big nuisance in the mid-west. you think God is trying to tell me something. How many times in my life have I allowed this "muskrat" thinking to destroy the plans and purposes of God in my life? Yes, I might have thought "It's just words, it's not going to hurt" but it can be just enough to allow the water to trickle in and then the flood comes. I have done it long enough now I must look like Swiss Cheese in the Spirit. No wonder I can get discouraged quickly or even depressed. I have this muskrat in my life making holes in my identity. So when the enemy comes like a flood against me it actually doesn't take much to burst through.

Thank you, thank you sis and brother. It was a timely word that had more prophetic, anointed significance then you even realized. I loved too that you both (and my Knight included) were able to help me see this without shame or condemnation. You two are an amazing blessing to our family. So go a head, as soon as you hear me going down this path of verbal tearing down yell "Muskrat" and I will know exactly what's going on. Unlike the poor town in Mississippi I am ready to get my gun out and shoot this rodent. With so many people reading this post who go to our church it will be really funny if this gets out and everyone starts telling me "muskrat". I give you my permission.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Reaching Higher

Right now I have a burning hearts desire to see Elementary aged kids reach higher with our Lord. I don't say this because I want to exclude Youth or adults but there are so many opportunities out there for them to do so. For Elementary aged kids the opportunities are almost non-existent. My heart is crying out to see a change in the atmosphere. To see the final walls to generational barriers come down. We are taking the right steps but I know we are now coming to the next one. How do we equip and release our kids?

Our home is buzzing with opportunities for training. Mainly because of my heart and my husbands heart but I just don't want it to stop there though. I want other children to have a God language, hear the voice of the Father, see angels, pray for the sick and reach out for so much more. I am going to be pressing in for that release. The Lord has laid it on my heart to create a Children's conference. I don't mean one for Children's Ministry workers I am talking about a kids conference. Take this past conference at our church. I desire to see it done for kids. Can you picture it; fire tunnels, kids ministry teams, prophetic ministry by kids for kids. We could have breakout sessions where kids choose classes from various topics equipping them and releasing them. It's a dream of mine and I am pressing in for it to be released and come into fruition.

Then I dream of taking this to other countries. Can you imagine? It's just something that burns inside of me and I want to reach higher. I want to lay hold of the heavenly things and pull them down to earth for our kids.

Will you reach up with me?!

Monday, November 3, 2008

Revisiting Pokemon

Last week the boys came to me and asked for more information on Pokemon. I remember many years ago our church sent out information about it and I got the gist of it. Pokemon was not something I wanted my kids getting into and they seemed to accept that very well. 

Well there seems to be a huge resurgence of Pokemon, Yugioh, Bakugan and Duel Masters. They are all Trading Card Games (TCG'S). Star Wars even has their own version and Disney recently came out with a version called Kingdom Hearts. Many of these games seem harmless until you investigate deeper into them. The boys asked me if we could find information on why Pokemon and some of these other games are so bad. They were not asking for themselves but out of concern for their friends who have gotten sucked into this new wave. Rocker told me his heart hurt last week because our neighbor was collecting and playing Pokemon pretty heavily. Rocker said nothing he told D would change his mind. Telling kids it's evil just doesn't work. They need information and education. So I set to work finding the info they needed that would be applicable to them.

See we can't tell these kids it's of the devil or from the occult. Most of them have never heard this stuff before. I prayed and asked for wisdom. My first stop was at the website of Wizards of the Coast. They are the creators of Dungeons and Dragons and Magic the Gathering. Card games that are blatantly occult. They are also the creators of Pokemon. Well come to find out after some research Wizards of the Coast lost their licencesure for Pokemon and it was bought out by Nintendo in 2003. It's popularity was waning because of it's association to Wizards of the Coast. Although Nintendo bought out the rights they have not altered the game any. I found a great video on YouTube that explained the evilness behind Pokemon and allowed the boys to watch it. The best comment was not about the occults influence in creating Pokemon but the cartoon characters themselves. This man explained if parents and kids have no understanding of the occult talking to them about it is useless. He explained that the moral value is what you can base your argument on.

Ash the main character in the cartoon is described as a know-it-all, selfish, hot headed, highly competitive, brat. His companion Misty is  seductively dressed and is also described as rash, flirtatious and competitive. Both wanting to be Pokemon masters will do anything to "Catch them all!" (refering to catching the Pokemon creatures) I sat down with the boys a couple of years ago and watched an episode with them. The rule in our house is new cartoons have to be watched with my husband and I before they are approved of. I was blown away with the cartoon characters behavior. I did not want my kids acting or behaving in that way at all. So I explained to the boys how we could approach this in the same manner. What benefits does Pokemon have on people's behavior? They were able to see the link between Pokemon and the occult but I felt they had more ammunition by understanding that the cartoon was encouraging very bad behavior.

I also began to look up and investigate other TCG's and was surprised to see the results. Wizard's of the Coast bought the rights to distribute Star Wars trading cards and MLB cards. They even had a sight where you could link to for Jedi Maser Counseling. Scary!  Duel Masters and Neo Pets are also made by Wizards of the Coast.

There is so much more I could post about TCG's. This was really only the tip of the ice berg. I guess my only real warning to parents right now is check into the games your  children are playing. They may seem harmless enough but many have such dark under tones. Legends of Zelda, one of my favorite video games is directly connected to the occult. Disney's Kingdom Hearts is also a very dark magical TCG. Here is a quote taken directly from their website...

"In the Kingdom Hearts TCG, friends are essential to success! Beloved Disney characters such as Goofy and Donald Duck will aid you in your quest, but you had best use them wisely, since each friend will be discarded after use.

Each friend has a level, a Strength Value that can boost the strength of the Player Card, and a Magic Value the friend can use to cast magic." 

Role playing games in general are not good for kids to get involved in. Anything that encourages children to take on the identity of a make-believe character can begin to distort their view of reality. As they advance into the games the fine line of imagination and reality blur. When their character suddenly dies or is injured in the game they themselves can mentally, emotionally and sometimes physically become ill. Please look into the background of your video games and card games. Things are not as innocent as they first appear.

Friday, October 31, 2008

I Like These Older Years

I have enjoyed every stage of my kids but with 3 boys all within a 15 month- 2 year span things got very crazy at times. Now things are a little more quiet and settled. This morning I awoke to the smell of coffee brewing. My alarm had not gone off yet and my husband was not back from the gym so were was this coming from?

As I followed the sweet aroma of brewing coffee I found Shaggy in the kitchen. Here he was making coffee for his mama this morning. AWWWWW! It just melted my heart! I love having older kids. It's the best. I miss my babies but there is something special when they are old enough to really show their love for you. It blessed me so much this morning. What a guy!!!

Thursday, October 30, 2008

I Struggle With Crying...

I really do. I cry at home with my kids or husband but only after there has been a pent up burst that flows from deep inside. Around others I am not able to release it. I was taken back by how so many women were touched by the Divine Connection at our Church last Friday. I too participated and then ministered. I was touched by the Father and blessed by His love but still no tears. As I looked around the room I noticed so many connecting with their emotions. Why wasn't I?

I have not been able too for years. Growing up you weren't aloud to cry. If things were bad enough you could tear up and cry some but not for long. At funerals you were told to stop crying because the person is gone and you don't have any reason to mourn. When the police came to my uncle's trailer to tell us my cousin was murdered my father told me I needed to hold it together and go pick up my family. I drove around NJ that afternoon numb to every emotion and feeling just doing what I was told to do. Now I pay the price. I have felt the Lord move powerfully in my life and I have had the tears flow but I feel as though there is more and I cannot connect with it. It's hard to be in a room with others crying. I feel uncomfortable and wish I could connect as easily as they do.

So what do I do? I pray and ask God to heal me. It has been many years of praying for release. I am still not there. So does that mean I didn't get as much out of the Divine Connection as others because of my stoic expression? No, the Lord affirmed me I did, He is just still working in and through me. I continue to pray and know one day the dam will be released and all those years will come pouring out. Knowing how the Lord works it will probably come when I least expect it and in a situation where I would least want it to happen. But it will come. Just some things that have been on my heart lately in the midst of the craziness.

Crazy Days

Lets see...

I had to get ready for Shaggy's birthday this week.

I knocked a squirrel unconscious yesterday throwing out my recyclables.(I will post on that tomorrow)

I had lunch with some girlfriends this week! :)

I have a sick husband. :(

We had our furnace overhauled yesterday for 4 hours.

I have a haircut and color today. Yippee!!!! I am looking a little shaggy myself.

I have to sign the boys out of school early tomorrow and go through the whole "No we are not Jehovah Witnesses. We just don't celebrate Halloween...yada, yada, yada." They stare at me like I am the worst mom on the planet because my kids don't participate in their darn Halloween Parade and parties.

We are going out for the Streets Ministry again this Sat (if anyone wants to join us).

I am also trying to get the weaving project done for MIA in time for the Christmas Coffeehouse.

I have also been bogged down by the everyday occurrences of laundry, meals, cleaning and homework.

So I haven't posted too regularly lately. I am just trying to keep up with life. For some reason even with stepping down out of ministry obligations for a while things are still crazy. I guess my only chance of truly leaving it all behind would be to go to a deserted island.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

10 Years Ago....

Ten years ago we started the parenthood journey with our first son
Shaggy. It has been amazing. A journey full of laughter, tears,
joy and pain. Shaggy turns 10 today so in celebration of
his life I put some photo's on my blog of him through 
the years. Happy Birthday my Love!

Friday, October 24, 2008

Doing Something Girly!!!

I had a dear friend give me a treat about a week or so ago. She gave me nail polish and a bunch of other nail polish related bottles. Actually I was surprised because I only use one bottle of color. I didn't know there was an actual process for doing your nails. So I took some time this morning to treat myself to painting my toe nails. My finger nails are not worthy of polish.
So does anyone know what the stick is for. 
I actually don't know but used it any way.
 I have no idea if I used it right but it was fun. 
I will have to get her to give me a lesson next time.

My poor pitiful piggies. I think they look a little
stumpy in this picture don't they. :)

After chipping off the 5 layers of old polish I used each bottle,
hopefully in the correct order. The end result. Not too bad eh!
It was so much fun to do something girly again. By the way if you know
what that stick is called or what is used for let me know. 
My boys are using it for a 
weapon for their Star Wars figures now. It's
fun to be a girl sometimes!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Having A Mom Moment

It's one of those times when you feel discouraged and down about your parenting abilities. I know most of the time God works in spite of me and not because of me but I am having one of those moments. Shaggy is struggling with his pre-teen angst. DK is over the top this week with his dramatics and Rocker is struggling because he feels neglected. Oh, boy! This Friday two guys are coming over in the evening to interview the boys for a documentary about kids seeing angels. Although that's great I feel discouraged. One instant we are walking the streets of Harrisburg praying for the sick and the lost and the next minute we are dealing with attitudes. One minute they are telling us about the angles and supernatural things they see and then the next moment we are breaking up an all out WWF match in the boys room. Is this all normal? Did even the great men and women of God from years gone by give their parents lip?

My Knight shared with me that this is normal and it's life. He asked me do I always have it all together? Do I struggle? Of course I said yes but I guess as a mom I take this stuff as a reflection of me instead of realizing that these three young men in my house are now making decisions on their own. The days of just telling them what to do are gone and now it is the process of showing them that their decisions have consequences whether good or bad. They also need to determine their own beliefs and thoughts. So I see the larger picture and the Lord's hand through all of this but it is still hard in the midst of it. I don't want my boys to make the same bad choices I did or to have to carry their pain with them for the rest of their lives but I also can't do it for them. I guess this is my realization that I can no longer carry them any more. They need to walk on their own and even fall a few times to learn how to run. So there you have it. Again the good the bad and the ugly at the Livin' household. So very far from perfect but so very close to the Lord. Now I need some comfort food and coffee and praise music.

After thought... if we do make it through all this I think I am going to write a book about parenting. I will call it "If I Could Do IT So Can You". It will be about how God worked through us and not about our wonderful parenting skills or anything. I am ready for a book like that right now. Don't give me strategies just give me testimonies.

Friday, October 17, 2008

A Few Simple Truths

I realize more and more I get stuck on the idea that God needs to come into my life as a raging inferno to burn away the stuff I tend to get hung up on, when lots of times He just wants to speak a few simple truths. This week I had to meet with someone I have been struggling with for a couple of weeks now. I say struggle but I do admit I have thrown a few temper tantrums with the Lord about this person because of the way I perceived they were treating me. Let me emphasize my perception because I have been known to be wrong from time to time. Don't worry it isn't anyone in the blogging community.

Well I knew I had to be with them this week and I knew if the Father didn't do something about my attitude it would get ugly. So I prayed "Lord do something with my attitude please. What do you want me to know about this situation?" I stood there in my house waiting for this huge revelation and spiritual over hall, when all of a sudden I just heard the Lord speak a few simple truths. I thought to myself  "Is that it? Are you sure that's all? Won't I still get mad and upset?" I felt the Father smiling on me and laughing a bit. After standing there perplexed for a few minutes I headed out to meet up with this person very sure I was still going to get stirred up. I thought this couldn't have helped me. I needed tears and an earthquake and fire because of how much I had been struggling but none of that happened.

Then it happened. I met with the person and all was peaceful. I was amazed. I even tried to stir things up in my heart to test it out to see if I was healed and truly at peace with this. There was nothing there. We had a great talk and I walked away released of my anger and bitterness.

It just took a few simple truths from the Father. I was reminded of the story of Elijah and how the Lord passed by him in the cleft of the mountain. The great wind rushed by, the earth shook and a fire raged but God was in the gentle whisper. I have had moments where the Lord has dealt with me in  very powerful ways. I guess I got stuck into thinking He always had to come to me like that. So I began putting off going to Him about issues I was dealing with because I didn't have the opportunity to have those power encounters. But the Lord reassured me this week He wants to meet with me in the "clouds and fire" like Moses and also the "gentle whisper" like Elijah.  I have begun this week asking the Lord in my car and in the grocery store and at school "What do you want me to know about that God?" and listening for His few simple truths instead of letting it all fester until I can deal with it later. I hope this makes sense. I know it may not be earth shattering for most but it's just one of those things the Lord has been showing me lately that has really set me free.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Go Back In The Water....

No, not talking about the movie Jaws. I'm talking about the bath tub. I thought my kids had out grown the whole needing toys in the tub but someone snuck them in. Toy sharks that is. Then they left them in the bottom of the tub. So as I go to jump in the shower I begin stepping on plastic dorsal fins and hard pointy tails. They were all over the tub. Big sharks, little sharks, mean sharks and smiling sharks. Boy for someone like me who has a fear of sharks, finding an entire school of them in your own bathroom is pretty scary(I have no idea if sharks school like fish any whoo). I think I may need some more therapy on this. 

I'm warning you all. It's not safe to go back in the water!!!!

And no I don't have pictures, have you ever tried taking a picture wrapped in a towel dripping wet? Not a pretty sight. Any way my husband would have really thought I lost it then.