Monday, December 29, 2008
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
- Taking our Elderly Neighbor Miss Hope to the boys Christmas concert at School. She was thrilled.
- Handing out homemade fudge to our neighbors and seeing smiles replace the worries and cares of the holiday season.
- Hearing my sons say their excitement isn't about the presents this year but having "family" over on Christmas.
- Hanging out with a dear friend yesterday on an impromptu outing.
- Wrapping Miss Hopes Christmas gifts for her because it hurts her hands to wrap now a days.
- Knowing that tomorrow will be filled with excitement and relaxation. We can just be ourselves.
- Spending a quiet evening with my Knight tonight. The kids will go to bed on time( I wore them out today) and we wrapped all our gifts weeks ago. So we can sit looking at the Christmas lights enjoying each others company.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Friday, December 19, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
The best part is eating them. I love that at Christmas time you can gorge your self on goodies and blame it all on the Holiday's. Yummmm!!
Monday, December 15, 2008
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Maybe by Friday I can get it to work.
Monday, December 8, 2008
One of my favorite groups singing for one of my favorite movies/books. I heard the Lord speak over me through this about my family. I am glad the Lord helped me to find my home!
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
"I don't give up. People are just like your project. I have chosen just the right design and pattern. I hand picked the yarn that would be perfect for each person. Each gifting, each talent and each purpose was chosen by Me. I had a great purpose and design from the beginning. Like your project life will change and situations will begin to tangle my design. People will hurt you and your threads may come unraveled. This was not my plan just as these things were not in your plan for your project but I keep going because I see the final project. As the Master Weaver I can fix each situation just as you have been doing. You untangle the thread with care. Gently without damaging the warp. You repair broken threads and rethread the heddles that come undone. Keep in mind the final project. Some may say they are too difficult for Me to make into something beautiful but I say no way. I can make beauty out of ashes. I take what others give up on and create a master piece. My people will be beautiful works of art even in the midst of problems. No one is too difficult or unworthy for Me. I love them all and love weaving each of them together."With each word I God spoke to me I kept going and pressing on. With each difficulty I faced the Lord continued to speak to me more and more about His undying love. I believe He was speaking to me directly and to others. Especially the beautiful woman this project will go to on Tue. I have had difficultly but the end result was beautiful. This project spoke to me in so many ways I hope it speaks to you also. We are worth it. We are created to be beautiful creations of the Father. He can take every circumstance in our life and weave it into the ultimate design.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Monday, November 24, 2008
Is it OK to be a little open and honest here? I have been struggling for some time with rejection in my life. It seems with every breath I take I am faced with the onslaught of rejection. Over the years it isolated me and caused me to step into some very dark corners of fear but recently I have been making some head way. Well, not me but God has been making some head way in my life.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Yesterday I had to go to the Pharmacy to pick up a bucket load of prescriptions for my bronchitis and sinus infection. It was after school let up so the boys were with me. It's not really bad taking the boys places any more. They are pretty good and nothing near like it was when they were all under 4.
I had to wait a little longer than normal to have them filled out since there were 4 prescriptions all together. We did run around the grocery store for a little and I let the boys pick out their own soda or drink of their choice (that's a big thing in our house). After a paid for that stuff we walked back to the Pharmacy department to wait some more.
Well the funniest thing happened. The boys got busy looking at all the pharmacy stuff for sale on the wall next to the pick-up window. It was maily diabetic strips and testers and things. Then they followed the wall to the end. To my horror I relized they were looking and pointing to the Birth Control/Pregnacy test wall. They were litterally pointing and touching the boxs of condoms all neatly displayed. As I gasped I realized there were other adults around them pointing and looking very disgusted as these three young men seem to be captivated by the boxes of condoms.
I yelled, queitly (if that is at all possible) "Boys, get over here." All the people turned to see they belonged to me. I burst into laughter as the boys walked over. I asked them "What in the world are you looking at?" One of them replied they were looking at the Trojan boxes, were they trading cards? I began to laugh even harder. "No, the are certainly not trading cards?" Rocker and Shaggy thought it was about the Trojan horse and the Greeks and all that.
So when they realized it wasn't trading cards they asked what were they. I said they were condoms. Now take into consideration I am standing in line with other adults all around me waiting on their meds so I am trying to keep our voices down. Shaggy pipes up really loud "Condoms!"
I tried shushing him but now all three were in a frenzy trying to guess what condoms were. Oh my word!!! We have had the "Talk" with the two older ones and we even had this specific topic but for some reason they didn't remember. So I quickly and queitly explain what it was. The two olders ones said very loudly, "Oh yeah, I remember!" and then squirmed around and made disgusted faces. DK who wasn't privy to the converstaion because he was fliting around the bake goods counter came back singing a song about condoms. The child sings and dances constantly but why a song about condoms only the Lord knows.
So they call me to the counter. I quickly snatched the meds and rushed my embarassing crew out to the car to finish our conversation. Then at breakfast this morning they remembered to share this all with their dad. My Knight almost split his side laughing so hard. I asked him why is it he is never around for this stuff? Why do I get all the sex questions and conversations? He smile and replied "You are a mom of three boys, get used to it."
So if you ever see three boys about 10, 8 & 6 standing around the condom display rack don't panic just look for the woman trying to hide in the corner of the store, it's probably my three learning more facts of life or disusing the Trojan wars.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
You Are a Bow
You don't think of it as the holiday season - you think of it as the present season!
Monday, November 17, 2008
A lot of our neighbors take care of her and check in but we love to do the same too. She has family close by but she so loves the boys dropping in to say hello. In the summer time she always has ice cream treats and popsicles for them. We have brought her food and gifts in the past but today I felt nudged to ask her to dinner. I guess I have been so busy lately I just never thought about it before. But now the Lord has cleared my schedule and I feel its time, probably over due.
So I made home made Cheese Broccoli Soup and brownies and had Miss Hope over. It was so wonderful. Her family is from Porto Rico and she loved teaching the boys some Spanish. Her actual name is Esperanza which means Hope. When she enteren school in the Bronx the teachers did not want to pronounce her Spanish name so they began to call her Hope. It stuck.
She had so much fun and so did we. The boys and her went through my Knights Baseball card collection and she rambled off all the stats on every player. She is a huge Yankees fan. I just love her. So after 3 hours of food and fun we walked her home and she thanked me for a wonderful night. Then she stopped and turned and thanked me for a wonderful friendship. I just about broke into tears. In her strong New York accent she said to me "We must do this again, my dear."
"Absolutely, Hope." I replied. She blew me a kiss good night and I headed back home. My heart is filled and I realize how much I love connecting with others. I love hearing the stories from years gone by, sharing moments with new moms as their kiddos experience the next stage, gathering with friends for prayer and reaching out to those who just need someone who cares. I may not run to the big parties or hang out with the most popular at church or in life for that matter but you can always find me with those who light up my world... my family and anyone out there who others may tend to forget about. This is where I find my purpose and my joy just cooking dinner for someone and listening to their heart.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
It's a book by Gary Chapman & Ross Campbell. It is based off of the book The Five Love Languages that Gary Chapman also authored. We picked up a copy the other day and my Knight and I have been reading it. For the most part the Love Languages are the same but it helps to explain how children express them differently than adults do. The best part is it has a Love Language test at the end of the book for your kids to take. It's similar to the one in the other book but kids understand it. So we had the boys take the test. We were right on with Rocker and Shaggy because they are similar to my husband and I but Drama King blew us away. Here are the results....
Saturday, November 8, 2008
The greatest part about being a mom is seeing your children move in the Spirit. Sometimes that means they have words for you as their parent. In our house we have taught our boys to hear the voice of God and also given them the ability to speak in love and truth to us. They do it respectably and honorably.
Friday, November 7, 2008
Thursday, November 6, 2008
A week or so ago my family and I were over at our dear friends house (aka spiritual family). We get together to laugh, cry and pray. We have also been stretching each other by staying accountable to one another as sisters and brothers in Christ. Well that evening they shared with me how they noticed I tend to tear my self down a lot. My Knight agreed and I know he has actually talked to me about this before. I just didn't believe him. See I don't always see it. I say things and don't realize what I am saying about myself.
I grew up like this. If you didn't joke about yourself then someone else would. If you tried to say you were good at something than you were stuck up. I grew up with all that false humility crap in my life but even now it still haunts me. The problem though is I don't know when I begin to tear myself down. It just has become second nature. So the three of them (my husband, spiritual sister and spiritual brother) said they needed a code word they could say to get me to realize I was heading down that self destructive path. My sis said "Muskrat". We all joked and thought it was funny. My husband actually used it the other day and it worked. We were talking about something and then all of a sudden he said "Muskrat". At first I didn't get it and I replied with "What??!!" He smiled and said it again. By that time I got it and we were able to talk about the conversation.
The really funny thing happened today though. I wanted a picture of a muskrat so I went online to look them up. First of all they are ugly little creatures. I mean look at that stupid little white mustache and wiry tail. Then I read an article about one that destroyed a town. I believe it was in 2000 with all the flooding up and down the Mississippi River. A small town in Mississippi set up a sand barrier to keep the approaching flood waters out. Everything was going well. The sand barrier was working until someone noticed a rodent like creature out on the middle of the barrier. It was a muskrat. That pesky critter burrowed right though the barrier and water came pouring through. They were all helpless to do anything. One lady commented about getting a gun and shooting it but by that time it had already damaged their only hope. Within a few hours the barrier broke and water came rushing into the town. Muskrat's burrow under and through everything. They are actually a big nuisance in the mid-west.
So.....do you think God is trying to tell me something. How many times in my life have I allowed this "muskrat" thinking to destroy the plans and purposes of God in my life? Yes, I might have thought "It's just words, it's not going to hurt" but it can be just enough to allow the water to trickle in and then the flood comes. I have done it long enough now I must look like Swiss Cheese in the Spirit. No wonder I can get discouraged quickly or even depressed. I have this muskrat in my life making holes in my identity. So when the enemy comes like a flood against me it actually doesn't take much to burst through.
Thank you, thank you sis and brother. It was a timely word that had more prophetic, anointed significance then you even realized. I loved too that you both (and my Knight included) were able to help me see this without shame or condemnation. You two are an amazing blessing to our family. So go a head, as soon as you hear me going down this path of verbal tearing down yell "Muskrat" and I will know exactly what's going on. Unlike the poor town in Mississippi I am ready to get my gun out and shoot this rodent. With so many people reading this post who go to our church it will be really funny if this gets out and everyone starts telling me "muskrat". I give you my permission.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Right now I have a burning hearts desire to see Elementary aged kids reach higher with our Lord. I don't say this because I want to exclude Youth or adults but there are so many opportunities out there for them to do so. For Elementary aged kids the opportunities are almost non-existent. My heart is crying out to see a change in the atmosphere. To see the final walls to generational barriers come down. We are taking the right steps but I know we are now coming to the next one. How do we equip and release our kids?
Monday, November 3, 2008
Last week the boys came to me and asked for more information on Pokemon. I remember many years ago our church sent out information about it and I got the gist of it. Pokemon was not something I wanted my kids getting into and they seemed to accept that very well.
"In the Kingdom Hearts TCG, friends are essential to success! Beloved Disney characters such as Goofy and Donald Duck will aid you in your quest, but you had best use them wisely, since each friend will be discarded after use.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
I have not been able too for years. Growing up you weren't aloud to cry. If things were bad enough you could tear up and cry some but not for long. At funerals you were told to stop crying because the person is gone and you don't have any reason to mourn. When the police came to my uncle's trailer to tell us my cousin was murdered my father told me I needed to hold it together and go pick up my family. I drove around NJ that afternoon numb to every emotion and feeling just doing what I was told to do. Now I pay the price. I have felt the Lord move powerfully in my life and I have had the tears flow but I feel as though there is more and I cannot connect with it. It's hard to be in a room with others crying. I feel uncomfortable and wish I could connect as easily as they do.
So what do I do? I pray and ask God to heal me. It has been many years of praying for release. I am still not there. So does that mean I didn't get as much out of the Divine Connection as others because of my stoic expression? No, the Lord affirmed me I did, He is just still working in and through me. I continue to pray and know one day the dam will be released and all those years will come pouring out. Knowing how the Lord works it will probably come when I least expect it and in a situation where I would least want it to happen. But it will come. Just some things that have been on my heart lately in the midst of the craziness.
I had to get ready for Shaggy's birthday this week.
I knocked a squirrel unconscious yesterday throwing out my recyclables.(I will post on that tomorrow)
I had lunch with some girlfriends this week! :)
I have a sick husband. :(
We had our furnace overhauled yesterday for 4 hours.
I have a haircut and color today. Yippee!!!! I am looking a little shaggy myself.
I have to sign the boys out of school early tomorrow and go through the whole "No we are not Jehovah Witnesses. We just don't celebrate Halloween...yada, yada, yada." They stare at me like I am the worst mom on the planet because my kids don't participate in their darn Halloween Parade and parties.
We are going out for the Streets Ministry again this Sat (if anyone wants to join us).
I am also trying to get the weaving project done for MIA in time for the Christmas Coffeehouse.
I have also been bogged down by the everyday occurrences of laundry, meals, cleaning and homework.
So I haven't posted too regularly lately. I am just trying to keep up with life. For some reason even with stepping down out of ministry obligations for a while things are still crazy. I guess my only chance of truly leaving it all behind would be to go to a deserted island.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Friday, October 24, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
My Knight shared with me that this is normal and it's life. He asked me do I always have it all together? Do I struggle? Of course I said yes but I guess as a mom I take this stuff as a reflection of me instead of realizing that these three young men in my house are now making decisions on their own. The days of just telling them what to do are gone and now it is the process of showing them that their decisions have consequences whether good or bad. They also need to determine their own beliefs and thoughts. So I see the larger picture and the Lord's hand through all of this but it is still hard in the midst of it. I don't want my boys to make the same bad choices I did or to have to carry their pain with them for the rest of their lives but I also can't do it for them. I guess this is my realization that I can no longer carry them any more. They need to walk on their own and even fall a few times to learn how to run. So there you have it. Again the good the bad and the ugly at the Livin' household. So very far from perfect but so very close to the Lord. Now I need some comfort food and coffee and praise music.
After thought... if we do make it through all this I think I am going to write a book about parenting. I will call it "If I Could Do IT So Can You". It will be about how God worked through us and not about our wonderful parenting skills or anything. I am ready for a book like that right now. Don't give me strategies just give me testimonies.