I'm Not A Goat and Neither Are You

Have you ever heard of a fainting goat before? No, well there are such animals called fainting goats. Growing up on our sheep farm we knew of them and saw them at various farms. They literally faint. The technical term for this conditions is myotonia. The picture above is a young goat that has collapsed because of being startled. If a fainting goat is startled or frightened it's muscles stiffen and it collapses for a short period of time.

It was funny growing up watching these animals. Sounds of cars honking or tractor trailers bumping by would literally knock them over. We would laugh and laugh as kids witnessing this phenomenon but I am actually not laughing about it any more today. Last night our teacher at our School of Ministry taught and the prayed over the class about being bold for the Lord. I humbly asked for prayer last night because I struggle with fear of rejection. I don't step out many times for the Lord because fear grips my heart and makes me feel paralyzed. At the end of class Pastor D. prayed for me. I felt a release and peace and lightness I have not felt before. I renounced the power fear had in my life and declared to my spirit and soul I would no longer serve the spirit of fear.

Today I had to go to the store before dropping the boys off for school to grab last minute field trip lunches. I totally forgot until this morning that they had field trips and we were out of bread. Walking to the register I heard the Lord say use the line with a cashier. That is not my style. I am a "avoid all humans" kind of person. I "B" line it right to the self check out without batting an eye. It was funny the boys were heading to the self check out ahead of me because they know I am such a creature of habit and sad to say they are probably picking up my habit. So I listened to the Lord and walked to the only line open. An older gentleman was manning the register. I felt the Lord say engage in conversation with him so I did. Nothing profound came from the experience but as I walked away I heard the Lord say "Now was that so hard?" (He smiled) "Oh, my, no that wasn't hard at all but Lord I didn't pray for him or have a profound word to give him. Did I screw up again?"

The Lord continued to speak to my heart as I dropped off the boys at school. He told me He was easing me into this but that He was happy I obeyed him in the little task of engaging in a conversation with this man. I then remembered how I used to refer to myself as a fainting goat. I remarked to the Lord (like He didn't already hear my thoughts) "Lord I am just a fainting goat. Sometimes I get spooked and fall over." Well, the Lord didn't find it as amusing as I did because I heard a stern voice speak quickly after my comment. He said "No you are not! You are not even a goat but a sheep. Do you remember what Pastor D. said last night. Those who do not hear My voice and obey are the goats but I have called you My sheep. Stop it!" "OK Lord I totally get it." He continued "No you don't. You have been around goats for so long you believe you are one of them. You are My sheep you and you know My voice so stop fainting at the enemy's call."

Wow. I went home and goggled fainting goats. I wanted to know some more information on them because I felt the Lord stirring in my spirit to understand all the truth He had for me regarding this. Here is what I found in the Encyclopedia about fainting goats...

A fainting goat is a breed of domestic goat whose muscles freeze for roughly 10 seconds when the goat is startled. Though painless, this generally results in the animal collapsing on its side. The characteristic is caused by a hereditary genetic disorder calledmyotonia congenita. When startled, younger goats will stiffen and fall over. Older goats learn to spread their legs or lean against something when startled, and often they continue to run about in an awkward, stiff-legged shuffle...It is theorized that fainting goats were used by their handlers during travel for protecting other livestock (such as sheep) from predators by involuntarily "sacrificing themselves" due to their condition. This allowed the handlers and livestock to escape.

Oh my goodness I don't ever want to refer to myself as a fainting goat. How many times did the "false shepherd" in my life trick me into believing I needed to faint? How many times did I needlessly become a sacrifice for the enemy. The Good Shepherd defends His flock. In the middle east the shepherd's watch constantly over their flocks for predators. They take turns sleeping and watching always having at least one shepherd on duty at all times. Only western shepherds leave their sheep to graze unprotected. We may build fences up to keep them safe but doesn't that sound to you like a false sense of security. What would you rather have a fence or a watchful shepherd ready at any moment to kill anything that tired to harm you.

So I declare now that I am no longer a goat but a sheep in the Good Shepherds flock and I declare over you that you are no longer a goat but a sheep. So let's all stop fainting and stand knowing our Shepherd cares for us!! I AM NO GOAT!!!!!

We Are Not Living In A TIme of Judgement

I know I shared a couple posts ago that I was digesting all the power downloads God spoke to me during the Voice of the Prophets Conference. It has been amazing to see so many seeds planted during those 4 days. Just as in the physical realm as Pa is being drenched in rain and plants and grass are sprouting all over the place I feel as though spiritually the Father is pouring out His rain on me. Seeds in my heart our now sprouting and taking root about His truth.

One word given that week that has forever change my view of life was a word given by Graham Cooke. He began by telling us we are not living in a time of judgment. Hmmm... at first it was a Wow, but now the light bulb has been flicked on in my spirit Aha! How long had I been walking under this false belief that we still lived under judgment? See, there are two times humanity will face judgment. The first was when Jesus died on the cross. He took our place in judgment. He died for everything we deserved to be punished for. He stepped into the Fathers hand of judgment when he gave His life for us. We no longer had to make atonement for ourselves.

The second time humanity will face judgment will be the final day of this world. Kingdoms and people of this world will be judged but those whose names are found in the Lambs book of Life will enter into an eternity of rest in His presence. Those are the two times of judgment.

I have lived under false judgment this whole time. I kept waiting for the lightening to strike or the fire from heaven to fall. I also lived under the false lie that I could judge. That's what we do, right? We as Christians judge between right and wrong. We determine who needs God and who is righteous, right? WRONG!!!!!

If God is not judging us, then how can we judge others. I have felt such a freedom lately with this new revelation of God's love. He is not judging me. He is not keeping score. He loves me no matter what. WOW!! Granted this has not given me the freedom to do what I want. Honestly it has helped me accept Him when he corrects me. That isn't judgment it is love. Do we not gently guide our kids with correction not because we would ever want them to face our wrath but because we want them to be filled with blessing. That's the Father's heart. He quickens my spirit when I may be walking in something that is only going to bring me pain and curses but he does not make another tally mark on my file in heaven. "Oh, there she goes again. Mark it down boys she screwed up again. Pour out another one of those bowls of judgment. Hopefully one day she will get this right." No, that's not the Father.

The enemy would love for us to believe we live in a time of judgment. He loves to condemn the world. For goodness sake he tried his best to condemn Jesus when Jesus took our place but he has nothing on us. Just lies. He judges us. He's keeping a record, but we are not held by his record.

This revelation has also quickened me to how much I judged others. Well, if we walk under the false lie of judgment then we too will judge. It's the old lie siblings get stuck in when they compare themselves with their brothers or sisters. "If I am going to get punished then he/she needs to too. They did something even worse then I did." I hear that a lot with the boys. If I accepted the lie I am being judged then I will judge.

It has lifted a heavy burden off my life to know I am not being judged, I am not being scrutinized, I am actually being loved. I now don't judge and I don't scrutinize. What a freedom. You don't realize how big of a task that is to judge the world and I wasn't even doing a good job of it. Phew, glad to hand that off. So walk in freedom knowing this is a time of great Mercy, forgiveness and love. The Father will guide us and direct us but He is not on the throne in heaven with a gavel. We are not living in a time of judgment!!

Running On Empty

As a child my mom was notorious for running out of gas in the car. I remember many times stuck somewhere because we the gas gauge was reading empty. Of course this was all before cell phones were a phenomenon so we would have to walk to a gas station or walk somewhere to call for help. Because of my past experience with running out of gas I never let the van go very far without refueling. It put the fear of God in me as a child so now every time it gets to a 1/4 tank I run immediately to the gas station to filler up.

But what about our spiritual life? How empty do we allow ourselves to get before we fill up? I know for me it has been a hard lesson to learn. Instead of being left on the side of the road with a car that will go no further, I find myself broken down and out of "gas" emotionally and spiritually. I am a go, go, go kind of person. I live on the edge of the cliff, fly by the seat of my pants but unfortunately my daily intake of the Lords Presence tended to also fall in this type of lifestyle. Instead of a daily filling I would get a spiritual high and go for as long as I could push it. Even when the little "low gas" symbol blinked on my dash I pushed to see how far I could go.

The Father is no longer allowing me to do this. He has let me crash and burn pretty hard lately because its making me realize how much I don't want to end up back at that same spot. The Father has been speaking to me about giving from only my overflow. Hmmmm, that means I need to be full to overflow not burning fumes and hoping to coast to a near by gas station. I have gotten tired of "walking home" because I ran out of fuel. All that we do should be out of our overflow. Whatever just spills over not us dipping into the reserves. So now I am walking out this daily filling. I have been doing well and then last week I slipped back into coasting and by Sunday I was crashing and burning. The good thing is it didn't take me long to get back into His Presence and get filled up again.

We need to check with the Father about all we are doing. We live in a very self driven society. Our society tells us we must be involved in every minsitry, at all times and in every activiy you can think of. This season of rest for has shown me that for me and my family we must make choices and choose only to participate in the activity the Lord has called us too. That means for us the kids don't do sports or go every time the church the doors are open. We need to be filled here first and then go out and splash out over other with our overflowing spirits.

Are you running on fumes? Are you just coasting right now? Take it from someone who has bought the farm a few too many times, only give out of your overflow. Fill yourself daily with the Presence of the Lord. Ask Him where you should give of your overflow and learn to rest in His Presence. It totally beats crashing and burning all the time and your fruitfulness because of your time with the Father is exponential. God is good and His mercy endures forever. Let's just all spend some time with Him and give out of our overflow!

What Am I Called To?

A lot has been rolling around in my head lately and most of it needs to be taken before the Lord. I get lost in my thoughts at times and need more Truth from the Lord. Recently though I have been wrestling with the question "What Am I Called To?" I am a stay at home mom with no kids in the house. In years gone by many would not have bat an eye about that but not so in today's world. I get many questions and looks about how could I possibly stay home when all the kids are in school. I have to go back to work because the economy demands it. You see if I were a home school mom I may have to debate the whole home school vs. public school topic but they wouldn't argue the staying at home vs. working. Most people understand if you are teaching your children you would need to be at home.

Unfortunately, I just get the raised eyebrows of why don't you work? Why don't you work from home? I even get the how can you talk about having a tight budget when you choose this type of lifestyle? It is your choice. Why don't you sell your goods and make a profit off your work? So many questions...sigh.

So I took it all to the Lord because I can no longer carry everyone's opinion and expectation of me. I just need to know what the Father thinks. This is what I heard.

The Lord has called me to my family and our home. He has even called me to Himself. He has called my husband and I to stand on His financial provision. He has called my husband and I to depend on Him and not our own means. He has called me to His people. He has called me to pour into prayer over my children, my husband, my friends and my family. He has called me to pray over our schools. He has called me to draw into His word and tell others of His truths. He has called me to be different.

You know, it's OK to be different and it's OK that God calls us to be called to various things. It doesn't make me less or better than anyone, it just makes me who God wanted me to be. And maybe in a few years my season will end and I will be called somewhere else. All I know is I need to be where He wants me to be right now.

Everything in my life can fall by the wayside as long as I am doing what God called me to do. My God, my husband and my children come first. Sewing, weaving, art, book writing, knitting, ministry and all my other things can be put to the side from time to time so that I don't miss what He has called me too. Don't get me wrong I love these things but if He calls me for an hour or more in prayer and worship that morning those things must be put aside. If my kids need their mama for the afternoon those things are pushed aside. I will put my love and pour my self out over the things of eternal value and those are God's people.

I just needed to get that off my chest. At least now with the Lord's truth in my heart I feel as though I can respond to those who have tried to place their own thought's and value's on me with the confidence of the Lord that I am doing what God has called me to do. So what is it God has called you to do in this season? State it and believe it! Don't let others expectations and ideas sway the voice of the Lord in your life. Remember the Father, your family, your children, your spouse and those people God has put in your life are the things of eternal value. Put your time and energy into them and you can never go wrong.

Raising The Bar Higher

My twin brother was a pole vaulter in high school. During practice he would run up to the pit lower his pole until it became lodged in a groove in the pit. There the fiberglass pole would bend very severely and propel him upwards. He would lean his long lanky body back and precariously perch himself on this pole. The force of the pole springing up would vault him over a high bar. With each practice the pole vaulters on the team would raise the bar higher and higher. Newbies would train at lower levels but those who had been on the team competing for some time would need to continue to raise the bar. The competition wasn't baste on weather you could just fling your body over the bar at a set height but that you had the ability to increase your height with each jump and successfully complete the jump.

The Lord has been talking to me about raising His bar in my life and in the Body of Christ. For too long we have been satisfied with the lower level. We have gotten relaxed and not desired to try to reach a higher bar. At times we have been even satisfied with just watching others reach the higher levels and grasp onto the lie that it's not for us. My brother was told by my parents and family he was too tall for pole vaulting and that's why he struggled. I didn't think so because when I watched the Olympics I saw how tall these men and women are. I believe people do make excuses for us or we come up with them on their own. My brothers ability to successfully vault over the higher heights was not determined by his size or build but his discipline in practice and the want to.

Some where between 70-80% of Americans state they are of the Christian faith but choose to not walk as a believer. We see constantly in the world around us that some of the greatest offenses people experience are from those who call themselves Christians but walk another walk. I feel strongly the Lord is done with that and He is starting to raise the bar. We can either opt out and watch while others choose to go higher or continue to stay at our current state, but there is a price to pay with that choice.

I used to stay after school and watch my brother and the team practice. I enjoyed that but I could not call myself a pole vaulter just because I watched during practice I did not actually participate. Why do we then believe we can call ourselves Christians in name only and sit by the sidelines? I was not invited to attend the track meets and had no authority with the team because I was a spectator only. Too many Christians title themselves as believers but never actually run the race.

Jesus came to raise the bar. He told us in the New Testament that He did not come to do away with the Law but to fulfill it. If we have hatred in our hearts then that is just as bad as committing a murder or if we think lustful thoughts we have just committed adultery. We take our standards and place them on the unsaved. We judge severely those not walking with the Lord but constantly extend mercy to one another. I think we have this backwards. I am not stating that we shouldn't extend mercy towards each other but listen to this example..."There is a man living with a woman and they have 4 children. A believer judges that man for his actions. He treats that man as an outcast because of his sin constantly condeming him for his actions. However, this believers friend is dealing with p*rn*graphy. He tells the man God forgives you and there is grace for you when you sin."

We need to reverse this. The man not walking with the Lord living with the woman needs God's love. He needs to know God's mercy. The man's friend dealing with the sin issue doesn't need a spiritual bandaid but somone to help him breakfree and maybe a little tough love. Does that make sense? Let's stop using the fine tooth comb on the unbelieving world who doesn't even know God. Let's begin to raise the bar for one another. Let's get the Body off of the side lines and into the game. Next time you go out remember you represent the Living Body of Christ. The standard is raised. You may be the only example of a real believer others may see. Allow the Holy Spirit to quicken your spirit. Is your attitude right? Are you patient when the world is anxious? Do you bless others above and beyond what they asked for instead of trying to get something from them.

I will leave you with this one personal example. We have a friend who works on our vehicles when it is beyond my Knights ability. He is not saved. Every time he works on our cars we ask the Lord how much to bless him beyond what he charges. Mr. K has asked us repeatedly why. My Knight responds with "You are a blessing to us and we want to bless you." Mr. K has told us that he has not met Christians like us. They have tried to rip him off in the end and then asked him to church. We send a lot of business his way but are cautious at the same time. My Knight keeps a tight reign on who we send because we don't want to indanger this relationship with a "Christian" trying to rip him off. He is on the verge of salvation. Some have asked us why don't we tell him it's wrong to live with a woman? When he gets saved I believe the Lord's love with so fill him that the Holy Spirit will move in and take care of that. Right now we are called to be God's love to him and his family. It's time church.

We may stumble sometimes but don't give up. I saw my brother and others knock down the bar many times or even fall while attempting the jump but they kept going. We may not always hit the mark on the first run but it is the attempt that counts. It is time to become the Spotless Bride of Christ without blemish or wrinkle. It is possible because all things are possible with Christ.

A Picture of Hope

I received this word from the Lord about a week ago. I was touched greatly by it but heard the Lord say it was a corrperate word or a word for the Body of Christ so I thought I would share it here.

I saw a well. People were coming from all over to draw from it's water source. All different kinds of people from all over the world came. The Lord spoke and said it was His Hope. People were coming to draw from His Well of Hope. So I began to watch as the people lined up waiting their turn and then approached to lower the bucket into the well. Certain things began to stick out at me. As some drew from the well and dumped the water into their containers someone or some thing would come along and knock it over. The water would quickly disappear into the ground. The Lord told me it was others in their life or their circumstances that would knock Hope out of them. So many of them would simply turn and redraw from the well. Others seem to be there for hours just standing and looking into the well. They were searching for the evidence of the waters source. They would not take any more or even one bucket full but would just stand and wait by the well's edge. The Lord said these people believed lies from the enemy. Lies like "There is no more water left. You drew too much. You can only have one bucket full, or you are not even worthy to draw from the King's well." Many other lies came forth but these are what the Lord shared with me.

Others were even worse off. They had drawn from the well so many times their arms could not pull out another bucket full. They slumped to the side of the well exhasted and defeated. They no longer could stand let alone draw from the well. This time a man approached. He helped them to their feet and placed their arms around his shoulder. Together they stood in front of the well. It was Jesus. Together they reached for the bucket and drew water. With each bucket full the two drew together the person's strength slowly came back. Then Jesus would go to the others and tell them the truth about the well "It never runs dry. All are welcome. There are no rules about how many times you can draw, keep taking as much as you need."

The best part was watching the buckets come up after many of the people had been there for some time. With Hope being restored those who had been at the well battling for their water began to bring up buckets full of gems."

Letting Go and Forsaking it All For God

I have had a real stirring in my heart to see more and more in the Body of Christ walking in the fullness of their destiny and identity in Christ. I desire to see each and everyone of us walking in complete freedom from addictions and pain and false identities. I don't want to give up on anyone, even the toughest cookies because believe you me I was one of them. I was the young woman many believed, even those in the Body, would end up on skid row.

But what happens to this vision when you see so many struggling in the same areas in their life year after year. I pray so much about this. I have so many on my heart that I know God has called to be powerhouses in the Kingdom but seem to be stuck. Then someone asked me why did I change while others did not? What was so special about me or why did God choose to work so quickly and powerfully in me while others struggle for years? I sat and thought and prayed about that. I honestly don't count myself as someone special in the fact that what God did for me He can do for all but why isn't it more prodominant in the Body? Then the Lord showed me a picture of a bulldog. Actually my husband and a counselor at church used to refer to me as God's bulldog. I grabbed a hold of Christ and would not let go. The Lord spoke to me about how for so long a would latch on to anything people would throw my way. If they said I was a hopeless mess I would latch unto that and there my identity would be found. If they said you're bulemic then I would latch unto that. In these area's I would find security in my identity. It sounds strange to those who may have never dealt with this before but it is all too true. It's a false sense of security but security none the less.

Some Christians in the Body even latch on to their ministry as their identity or their callings or giftings. It just doesn't have to be something as bad as addictions or pain. Some latch unto their diagnosis. "I'm DID, I am SRA, I am Bipolar, I am OCD" but this only leads to more pain and not life. These things will only pour more poison into your body and not life.Even the giftings and ministry will leave you empty. There is only one thing that will give you life and that's Christ. So why don't we all run and latch unto to Him? Well, fear. We are afraid. We listen to lies that the enemy plants in our life to keep up attached to the pain. "If you leave this you will be nothing, People won't notice or help you if you are no longer...,You will always be...and if you leave you will only come back later." Those are only a few of the lies the enemy throws at us.

I am here to tell you and testify to you that if you listen to the Lord and latch on to Him and forsake everything you will have life and life abundantly. Let Go!!!! Whatever it takes! If you have to smash that computer you search porn on then do it! If you have to leave and seek help even though others around you might judge go and seek it. Don't listen to others or your flesh but listen to the heart of God. I tell you this not as someone looking from the outside in but as one who has been in that very same pit. I had to literally let go of whatever I was latching onto and turn to God. I got a hold of Him and wouldn't let go. It takes you to do this. I can't do this for you and others can't do this for you. Let go of your false identities! They give you no life. Grab a hold of the the Lord and allow Him to show you the treasure you are to Him and so many around you. It's time to let go and grab a hold of God.

As we see our identities in Christ then the amazing and beuatiful creation the Body is meant to be in this dark world will emerge. We will become the Bride without spot and wrinkle. We will shine with light in the darkest hour. You need to make a choice. Continue to hold onto the familiar things in your life that keep you bound and in prison or risk it all and take a hold of the life giver Jesus Christ!

Pollination

Pollination is a necessary step in the sexual reproduction of flowering plants, resulting in the production of offspring that are genetically diverse. It is important in horticulture and agriculture, because fruiting is dependent on fertilisation, which is the end result of pollination.

When the Lord dropped it in my heart to help mom's of all ages and women in general to connect at our church in a creative way He began to speak specifically about pollination. Above is a dictionary definition of the word. We are starting an endeavor at our church called Community Connections. Out of my passion for arts, specifically fiber arts we are gathering women every Tues for two months for fellowship and learning new skills or crafts. Each month we will feature a specific craft/skill for instance knitting, crocheting, sewing, jewelry making and so on. We are asking for those with great experience and those who have always wanted to try but have never started yet to join us.

This is where I heard the Lord begin to speak to me about pollination. We will then give are creations away to bless others, helping women to connect heart-to-heart to their communities. The picture the Lord gave me was when I was younger about 9 or 10 and my brother and I were in Bee 4-H. Yes, we raised two hives of bees. We would learn all about bees and honey at our 4-H meetings and then collect the honey and honey comb for our final projects. It was so much fun.

Any way, I remember learning about the importance that bees played in pollinating our local agricultural community. We lived between corn fields, dairy farms and orchards. Without the help of the bees carrying pollen from one plant to another the fields and orchards would be barren. No fruit. Quickly the Lord laid it upon my heart that He wants the church to do the same. Pollinate! We keep very strict ministry lines within our churches. Youth Ministry happens over here with these few folks and Alter Ministry happens over here. It's rare to see ministries inter mingling. Lately we have seen a great out pouring of churches connecting with one another and the Lord spoke to me that we are still neglecting to pollinate within our own Body of believers. The fruit is not producing because we are not pollinating. We are fruitless plants until the Holy Spirit in us AKA the bees can help take the pollen from one ministry to another.

I also saw this with our spiritual gifts. The Lord showed me that when we keep gifting's to ourselves we do not allow pollination to happen within our own spirits. To pollinate a gift one simply needs to get with other members of the Body and work as one. Flow together in unity. If I work with someone who is prophetic then my Mercy heart will cross pollinate with the prophetic gift and vise versa. Think about the potential! I just saw so much friut falling from the trees because the branches could no longer hold it all.

So what do you do when you get a word like that? Do you march into the leadership of your congregation and tell them we need to change everything now? Well, for me I asked the Lord what He wanted me to do. How was I to fit in this picture? Then He gave me the vision to use this Tue. morning time to cross pollinate. In February we will be learning to knit and crochet hats and scarves that will be then given to our Streets Ministry to hand out while they are ministering. Next month maybe we can learn some basic sweing and make small blankets to be given to our Visitation Ministry. There they can give them to the Neo-natal unit at a local hospital to cover the incubators. Can you imagine turning these little craft projects into prayer cloths? So we are going to start small and start pollinating in the spirit. It's been a heaviness on my heart to see this happen and a joy to see it come into fruition.

A Few Simple Truths

I realize more and more I get stuck on the idea that God needs to come into my life as a raging inferno to burn away the stuff I tend to get hung up on, when lots of times He just wants to speak a few simple truths. This week I had to meet with someone I have been struggling with for a couple of weeks now. I say struggle but I do admit I have thrown a few temper tantrums with the Lord about this person because of the way I perceived they were treating me. Let me emphasize my perception because I have been known to be wrong from time to time. Don't worry it isn't anyone in the blogging community.

Well I knew I had to be with them this week and I knew if the Father didn't do something about my attitude it would get ugly. So I prayed "Lord do something with my attitude please. What do you want me to know about this situation?" I stood there in my house waiting for this huge revelation and spiritual over hall, when all of a sudden I just heard the Lord speak a few simple truths. I thought to myself  "Is that it? Are you sure that's all? Won't I still get mad and upset?" I felt the Father smiling on me and laughing a bit. After standing there perplexed for a few minutes I headed out to meet up with this person very sure I was still going to get stirred up. I thought this couldn't have helped me. I needed tears and an earthquake and fire because of how much I had been struggling but none of that happened.

Then it happened. I met with the person and all was peaceful. I was amazed. I even tried to stir things up in my heart to test it out to see if I was healed and truly at peace with this. There was nothing there. We had a great talk and I walked away released of my anger and bitterness.

It just took a few simple truths from the Father. I was reminded of the story of Elijah and how the Lord passed by him in the cleft of the mountain. The great wind rushed by, the earth shook and a fire raged but God was in the gentle whisper. I have had moments where the Lord has dealt with me in  very powerful ways. I guess I got stuck into thinking He always had to come to me like that. So I began putting off going to Him about issues I was dealing with because I didn't have the opportunity to have those power encounters. But the Lord reassured me this week He wants to meet with me in the "clouds and fire" like Moses and also the "gentle whisper" like Elijah.  I have begun this week asking the Lord in my car and in the grocery store and at school "What do you want me to know about that God?" and listening for His few simple truths instead of letting it all fester until I can deal with it later. I hope this makes sense. I know it may not be earth shattering for most but it's just one of those things the Lord has been showing me lately that has really set me free.

Taking A Big Step

I took a huge step this weekend that I thought I would never take. I stepped down from Children's Ministry completely for at least a year. I know that might not sound big to some but for me it is huge. For the last 10 years I have been in some way volunteering in Children's Ministry at our church. It has been difficult at times but also very rewarding.

My decision came after a month or so of wrestling with the Lord. I heard Him tell me to lay it all down for a season and so I have been dragging my feet. I laid a few things down here and there but in the end He wanted it all. He has called me to relearn who I am in Him this year. I was wrestling so much with Him on this issue because I have allowed my identity to be found in my position as a mom, wife and church worker and so on. Now I know the church is always encouraging us to get connected to a ministry and get involved and this probably sounds like the worst time to be pulling out of ministry but I need to obey right now.

Last fall during my first year at our School Of Ministry I was sitting in one of Pastor Thom's teachings and he was  talking about getting in the presence of God and listening to the Fathers heart. Pastor Thom took the opportunity to quiet the class while he read scripture and then allowed us time to listen for the Father. There I heard the Lord say to me "If you do nothing else in your life but sit in My presence then you will have accomplished everything I have called you to do. Everything else in this world; ministries, positions in church, words of knowledge, healings, missions and so forth are just extras. My one desire is for you to be in my presence and all these other things will flow from your overflow."

It was a hard hitting word for me. I once heard a Pastor say "I don't want to get to heaven and have God play a video of everything He wanted me to accomplish that I didn't get to." That statement thrust me into a works mentality. So now the Lord is taking me on a whole new journey. One where I don't do much but sit in His presence. This will be one very interesting year for me but like a dear friend told me last night I am not going to just sit and wait for this year to pass watching the hours slip by. I will find God in the midst of my quiet days and I will seek His glory. It is time to be led by the still waters.

Love Looks Like Something Part 2

One way in which the Father began to reveal His unconditional love to me was through my husband. Time after time I would hold his love at arms length literally rejecting him again and again. I believed I needed to throw the first punch. If I could hurt him first it would save me from taking another blow. This is a survivors mentality. Children and adults who have gone through really bad things will either end up as a victim or a survivor. That was what I was, a survivor.

With each time I slung my rejection at my husband he never flinched, he never budged. He stood there reassuring me he loved me and was not leaving me. I pushed and pushed harder because deep in my heart I could not believe he would not leave me. But no matter how hard I pushed the more resolved he became and the closer he began to pull me into his arms. My husband had every right to leave me. He had every right to call it quits and at the time I don't think there would have been many around him who would have discouraged it. But he wouldn't let go. He began to show me what true unconditional love meant. He gave me love when I didn't even deserve it. The Father continued to speak to me about this. I began to see God as a loving Father and not a dictator.

Working with people who have not experience real, true love in their lives can be very difficult. They will push you and test you to see if you are really there for the long hall. They bite you every time you extend your hand in love but you must continue to pursue them. I now see what "Love" truly is. Love looks like something but not what we would expect it to look like. Love is not this Hollywood, make believe reality. Love is raw. It is filled with pain and joy, life and death. In it's most purest state Love looked ugly and marred. It was bruised and rejected. It hung on a cross. Love is a little girl kneeling at a Bible wiping the spit off and gently kissing it, only to be killed for her love. Love is a mother and father sitting in a cold, lifeless prison cell, extending forgivness to a young man in prison for the thoughtless, brutal murder of their innocent child. Love is a mother taking in young boys and girls who others said were too far gone but she looks on them with eyes of compassion and hope. Love sees a heroin addict and calls forth the Princess she really is. Love binds soldiers to such a strong brotherhood that they would lay down their own life for one another.

Love, true love cannot be put in a box. It cannot be manipulated or controlled. Love is not selfish or judgmental. Love dose not fit neatly into mans ideals because love is not from this earth. It was cut from the essence of the Father Himself and given freely to us, His own creation. We cannot always wrap our minds around true love because it is a supernatural thing. Until we come into the alignment of heaven love will be allusive. The most amazing thing about love is it is just sitting there waiting for us to grab a hold of. Jesus waits for us. He loves us even before we loved Him. I am so thankful that I now know love and I have a Savior who became love in it's purest form so that we could all be saved.

Love Looks Like Something

Interestingly I have been dealing with the word love lately. What does it mean and what the heck does it look like. The Webster's definition of love is : a strong attraction for another arising out of kinship or personal ties, enthusiasm, attachment to an object or devotion.

That doesn't give me much to go on. We flippantly say all the time "I love that movie, I love that restaurant." Or even tell others we love them. So how can this one word that has such power be used when referring to inanimate objects and people alike. I also see a problem with this definition because it speaks only to people you know or have relationships with. What about God who tells us to love our enemies or what ever you do for the least of these you to do Him?

See love was allusive growing up. It had many conditions and rules. To acquire it you must be worthy to receive it. Love meant you had to work for it and even at that if you did something wrong, made a mistake it was snatched from you and you were left empty again searching for something. Growing up I began to hear young men say they "loved" me. They said it to my face and promised me true love but this too came at a price. I had to be willing to give myself up to them physically to receive their "love". By the time my Knight came along I was so confused with what love looked like I threw myself at him the moment he told me he loved me. That's all I knew. Unfortunately because neither of us were  walking with the Lord my Knight gave in to my pursuit and we lived together for a short period of time before we got married.

Then I thought maybe now I found my answer, marriage. That's true love right? In the movies it looks so beautiful, so refined and elegant, but as the days turned into months and the months turned into years love still forsook me. As I painfully concluded love to be this allusive mysterious treasure I would never find I began an even more destructive path of rejection. I rejected those who told me they loved me. For me I believed a lie that to protect myself from the pain of rejection I would need to keep everyone at arms length. What a lie the devil spun in my heart. It only made me feel the sting of more rejection. The Father told me countless times again and again the He loved me. It didn't make sense to me. I screwed up, I was a bad girl. There was no way the God off all creation could love someone like me. If I couldn't do the right things to get people to love me how could God just love me like this? So the Father took me on a journey to reveal His love and believe me, His love looks nothing like the worlds......... to be continued.

Repriortizing Life

I have had some very horrible and stressful weeks lately. Things seem to be blowing up all over the place here and I have come to realize I need to settle down some and refocus. There are some things raising up with my extended family again that are hard to deal with right now and my marriage has hit a bump in the road. Yes, you heard me right. Even Godly people can struggle living together. Remember we vowed "For better or for worse". So here we are, in the midst of the worst at times.

You see when you marry, you bring your baggage and he brings his. At first you keep it hidden deep in the closets of your heart hoping to lose it all and start a fresh. Then slowly but surely the baggage falls out of the closet and you now have a mess to clean up. Not only does your baggage fall out all over the place but your bundle of crap knocks over his bundle of crap too. You both are dazed and confused as you behold the enormous mess all over and think to yourselves "Where did this come from? I thought I loved him and he loved me? Does this mean we weren't made for each other?" Of course the answer is you do still love each other but you need to stop stuffing your pain and allow each other to unload your baggage with the Lord.

My Knight and I have unloaded a lot of crap to the Lord. We were actually doing really well when suddenly someone knocked us off our pedestals and we are back to being dazed and confused. I actually got mad at the Lord this time and yelled at Him last week "We were doing great! Why are you doing this to us?!" I know dumb question but when your in pain you lose your mind from time to time. So we are picking up the pieces of more fallen baggage hidden deep in our hearts. We are not separating or anything like that but it was quite volatile. It can really hurt when you think everything is going swimmingly and you take a blind hit, it can really throw you for a loop.

So for right now we have both prayed about what we need to step out of. We have filled our lives with things to do and not given ourselves enough quality time to seek each others hearts and God's. The kids have been amazing through all of this. They even prayed with us one evening after a bad (bad is an understatement but I don't know what word would fit) day of arguing. The Lord revealed so much truth about us through the kids I was blown away.

We now need to spend more time together, less time just doing & more time in the Father's presence. So if you don't hear from me for a while via phone, email, cyber space it's because our family needs to heal more. The Lord did answer me about why He was doing this. He gently whispered "Where I need you to go and what I want you to do as a family I need this stuff out of you, so yes it was I who knocked you off your pedestals and brought this to the surface. I need you whole and I desire you to have peace but to bring the peace sometimes I need to stir the waters into a storm. Just remember how quickly I can calm that storm too."

That's where we are right now. Not perfect and definitely not "there" yet but constantly moving forward.

Stuck In the Mud Part II

Finding the Lord in our pain and pain filled memories is key to receiving the Father's truth. If we allow ourselves to become overwhelmed by our pain then many times we hear distorted truth. The Lord's truth filters through the pain and our interpretation of it is by how we feel. I found the Father there standing beside me. His arm was wrapped around my shoulders tightly. Trying to sort through the myriad of emotions was hard. I felt rejection, worthlessness and deep seated anger towards my mom. How could a mom tell that to her child? How could she treat me like that? All I could think of was my 3 boys and how devastated I would be to make them feel like that. So the Lord asked me to forgive my mom. The first step was to release and forgive my mom before we could move forward.

I didn't want to. I wanted to hold on to that anger as if my unforgivness would some how cause her pain. I honestly wanted her to hurt as badly as I did. Then quietly as if the Father was whispering through the hatred He asked me "May I show you how I see your mom?" His gentle, quiet voice broke through the hurricane of emotions. I felt a soothing breeze and knew with the Lord by my side it would be safe. So I agreed.

With that the monster I had distorted my mother into disappeared and I saw I young child. I recognized her immediately from old photos. It was my mom. She was sad and alone. Now let me make this clear before I explain what happened. I don't know if these are factual events in my moms life but I do know that the Lord showed me pictorial representations of my moms own pain. Some of the events are factual, I just don't know if all of them are.

I saw this sad little girl being rejected by her own mother and father. It was so heartbreaking. She was a beautiful little girl but very evident that she felt nothing but disgust for herself. She had been abused and hurt. Her innocence taken from her early in life. My mom was a twin. Her twin sister had Spinabifida. She passed away at 16 but was severely disabled from birth. The enormous weight this little girl carried from all this pain practically pulled her shoulders down, slumping her over. Then the Father looked into my eyes. Tears were streaming out of both our eyes and He asked me "Now how do you feel about your mom?" I felt horrible. My stomached turned with the knowledge that I had allowed my pain to distort her into a monster, when in reality she is a hurting child just like me. He then asked me what I wanted to do. Without hesitation I ran to that little girl and hugged her. Over and over again through the sobs I told her I was sorry and asked her to forgive me. I acknowledged the truth that she never meant to hurt me, she just didn't know what to do. The little girl crawled into my lap and we sat in our tears for some time. The Father finally tapped me on my shoulder and told me it was time to go.

I left the little girl, who was happy now and playing and returned to my own memory. There I saw a different woman. I woman filled with pain and heartache. She was trying to protect me in some way. Maybe she felt afraid for me, I don't know. All I know was she honestly wasn't trying to hurt me, she just didn't know any better. I looked on and released and forgave my mom. The pain of rejection and worthlessness also left. I knew the truth was my mom was trying her best to help me not reject me. Even though it was not a good way to help me her heart was trying it's best to love. When someone has never been shown healthy, pure love, how can I expect them to give healthy, pure love. Her intention was to love me she just had never been taught what love really looks like.

My pain of worthlessness fled too. I began to see the truth that my mom never thought I was fat or ugly she was just reacting out of her own pain. If she sees herself as worthless, then all she can offer me is worthlessness. The Lord showed me another significant memory where my mom would always pinch my sister and my upper arms for a fat test. Again instead of the pain overwhelming me this time I felt compassion. I wondered had this happened to my mom? Without me speaking aloud the Father responded "Yes. She learned this from her mom."

The night ended and I saw Jesus and me standing on the other side of the mud puddle. Do I think the healing is all done and I am good to go? No, I know life is a journey and there maybe other areas in my life I need to see people as God sees them. I personally know I need to revisit some Dad issues. Will I get mad at my mom or dad still? Probably. As long as we are still on this earth pain will be inevitable. I am just glad to know I don't have to get stuck in it any more. I may sink in a bit here and there but I have the promise from the Lord He will help me up again. I can say that looking in the mirror is different now. I don't feel bad looking at myself. I need to probably start speaking some truth over myself frequently. The Father brought tremendous healing but part of my distorted image is how many lies I spoke over myself. With this new freedom from my healing I can now begin to speak the truth.

So there you have it the REAL me. I struggle, I get my feelings hurt but I want to live life. My husband tells me a lot that I intimidate people because of my realness. I hope not. I hope I inspire people because of my realness. I would rather someone choose to not like me because they don't like the real me than someone not like me because of who I pretend to be.

Stuck In the Mud

We all need a touch from the Lord. We all need to hear His truth spoken over our lives. Whether we have come from amazing Godly households or from completely dysfunctional families we need God's truth. Lately the Lord has been allowing some ugly things to rise to the surface in my life. This is a big indicator He wants to deal with me. Usually I can push it down enough to get by, but then He grabs a hold of it and sticks it right in my face.

This time was no exception, however instead of sticking it in my face I got stuck in it. I have written in my past posts that I have a really terrible self image. This comes from years of lies that were placed in my life as a young girl. Lies like I'm not pretty or I'm fat and my self image was based off of how others viewed me. Mainly the world view of beauty. No matter how much my dear friends encourage me or my loving husband adores me I see my self as in a Carnival like mirror. I literally see something other than what I am.

Last night I came to the point of sitting down with the Father and getting His truth on the matter. I don't know why but I wanted to share this journey with others. Not to explain more heartaches of my past but to show God's redemptive power. If any thing I want to encouraged others that His truth is only an arm's length away. He is reaching down to you, will you just reach out to Him?

My Knight sat with me and began to pray about why I was feeling so stuck. Emotionally and spiritually I felt as though I was at a stand still, not moving forward. The Lord showed me this picture of a huge, deep mud puddle and I was knee deep in the middle. The more I moved the further I sank into the depths of this puddle. Jesus was first a fair distance off on the edge of the puddle. So I stopped struggling and watched as He walked out towards me, right on top of the mud without sinking. He came directly to me and held out His right hand. The Holy Spirit explained to me that the right hand signifies strength and asked me this question "Are you going to let My strength set you free?" So without to much thought (that was kind of a no brainer) I reached up and grabbed His hand. He pulled me out without any difficulty. We then stood together on the mud puddle. Jesus then asked me how I wanted to get out of there? I looked at Jesus trying to understand His question. Why was He asking me? Shouldn't He just tell me? He is God you know. But He waited patiently for me to respond. "How can I get out of here?" I inquired. He said I can wait until the mud hardens and walk off by myself or I can allow Him to help me walk on the mud. Hummmm? Why 2 options? Was He setting me up to pick the wrong answer and then leave me stranded there?

No, He simply stated that in life we have many options and not all are wrong or bad. Sometimes, we have multiple good choices and He allows us to pick. But...and I mean big BUT...the Holy Spirit asked me what is the Fathers heart in this matter. He told me I can always seek the Father to find out what His heart desires before choosing on my own. So I asked "Father what is your desire?" I heard Him tell me "I will wait with you if you choose to allow the mud to harden or you can put all your trust in Me and we can walk together. If we walk off together it will be quicker but it might be harder for you, for you will want to fall on your own understanding at times and sink back in. I will be there to lift you gaze back upon me but it will be the more difficult route. In the end though, you will be stronger and we will have not lost any time. Waiting is easier and it is not a wrong choice but in the end you will not have grown as much and it will take more time."

I looked into His deep blue eye's and gazed at the vastness of the universe. In those moments I connected with His heart and chose to walk with Him, conscious of the difficulties ahead. So we walked. At that moment I was led to a memory of myself when I was just a girl, maybe 12 or 13. My mom asked me to take diet pills so I could lose weight. The funny, but sad thing was I was not over weight at all. The tears welled up and I began to realize why the Lord said this way was hard. I began to sink as I lost track of the Father and began to be sucked down into my pain and the lies that were now swirling around me. All I could do was begin to look for Him again.... to be continued.

Just When I Want To Give Up.....

It is funny how God works. Not funny at the time but humorous now. I have been dealing with this one woman at church for some time. Nothing really obvious but just one of those woman who you could say hi too and they would never bat an eye at you. I have prayed and prayed and prayed and even gone after my own healing because of how offended I would get by her actions.

But there was nothing I could say or do exactly because there was nothing she was doing exactly but just being rude and stand-offish to others. I may be quiet and reserved at times but I will not shrug someone off or be completely rude. So this battle has been years since attending CCC. This woman also has been given leadership type roles in church and it would bug the heck out of me how she treated everyone around her.

Well here's the kicker. I finally gave up. I told the Lord "Fine you won't let me get away with anything but you let her get the spot light and she treats people like crap. I am not going to even try anymore." Ugly stuff I know. So I did. I gave up trying and even began blatantly avoiding her.

So now she comes up to me and starts a conversation recently. I think my mouth fell open and I looked around just to make sure she wasn't talking to someone standing close to me, but no it was me. She even joked around with me. WOW!!! We had a good conversation, not bringing up any of her faults.:) I walked away so healed in my heart through it all. All the prayer and the tears paid off in a moment of time. Will she continue this friendly attitude? I don't know but for that one moment I saw a piece of her heart and connected with someone I have struggled with for so long. There are many people in my life that I said I would never like or get along with and they are the very people the Lord has brought specifically to me to have a close relationship with. This was not the first time I have dealt with this and it probably will not be the last. I am not saying we will be best of friends or that she will even talk to me tomorrow but we started some where. It was a good moment and makes the battles worth fighting.

Daily Devotions: What Does That Mean?

What does daily devotions mean to you? What does it look like? I have struggled with daily devotions and time with the Lord just because of the word "Devotions". Growing up in an environment of dead religion I hated when people talked or mentioned daily devotions. My family was in and out of churches until I was 12 or 13 and then we never went back to church. They got involved in many different weird cult like groups and God became this abstract, distant and dead belief. Those around me continued with their "devotions" and I began to hate that word.

I have battled in the past years with the way I viewed who God is, what He does and how He works. By the ultimate grace of our Lord many of those skewed pictures and beliefs have been laid low and replaced with His true realities. One that I have still had to deal with is "devotions". I have been getting up at 5am to get in His presence, to spend time with Him in whatever way He leads. It has been an amazing time that starts my day off on the right foot, but I still deal with "I am doing this right? I am just doing a routine or is this the real thing?". I kind of argued with my husband about reading to the boys in the morning. I know it sounds stupid, but it was something I was struggling with. He has been reading to the boys every morning from a Chronological Daily Bible. I cringed when he started. I was just filled with fear and flashbacks of my past experiences with daily devo's. I actually fought him on this issue. Thankfully he listened to the Holy Spirit and not me. I was so afraid we were going to turn the boys off to the Word and quiet time with the Lord that I didn't want them to read any more.

The Lord began to show me how the boys really enjoyed this time with their dad and with the Lord. Yes, they squirm in their seats and fiddle with objects around the room, but they always have such deep thoughts and questions afterwards. The Lord showed me it is about the heart not the routine. Where was my heart when I was spending time with Him? Was it just a process for me or was I really enjoying the time I had with the Lord? A weight has been lifted off me because of this revelation. The Father even told me I could just call it my quiet time with Him instead of devotions. In years past my experience with devotions was so excruciating to me because it was just an empty process or routine. It was not filled with life or love. Now I have an experiential encounter with the Lord every morning. I am still learning how to do this. Sometimes I pray, sometimes I worship Him by just giving Him glory over and over again. Sometimes it's a combination of the Word, praise and prayer. So I ask you guys what does devotions mean to you? What does it look like? How do you like to spend time with the Father?. I am excited now to spend time with the Lord and not feel the sting of my past experiences with dead religion and daily devotions.

It's funny to me how I got hung up on a word. One word hindered me from experiencing the Lord. How many other "words" are holding me back from experiencing more of Him? I don't know but I am going to start finding that out.

I Am Going Green & Stretchy This Spring

Do you remember Gumby and his pal Pokey? I do but was never a big fan. It aired only 223 episodes on TV. Well this is the picture the Lord gave me of myself. Yea, weird I know. Lately things are happening all around me that are totally stretching me, hence the elastic humanoid. If you briefly look on my side bar you will see a Personality Test. Many of you took this last year and I saw many of them posted on the sites. It was fun and interesting. But after the test I looked up towards the Lord and said "See! Do you see this God? I am an introvert, not outgoing. Why are you doing this to me? If this is how you made me why are you going against your own design?" At this point I was pretty ticked. You see I am no longer being allowed to hide my head in a hole or under a rock. The Lord has put my husband and I in a position that has opened us up to various ministry opportunities, all requiring me to reach out to others. Our house has become a gathering place. Every week now we have two to three families over for dinner and ministry time. Is it great? Is it exciting to see God working in and through us? Yes but not fun for my flesh.

After I asked the Lord why was He doing this I felt His giant hands scoop me up into his warm embrace. Even with my ticked off attitude a smile broke across His face. He told me "This is not who I made you to be,pointing to the Test, but who the world has told you, you are. You are now coming into My design and purpose. I do not go against My creation." Ouch!! But True. He showed my pictures of when I was a child, outgoing and ready to take on the world. That is my destiny. What I am now is a cowering adult tired of Satan beating the crap out of me, willing to just lay down and take it. What good is that? I remembered a specific time when a German Shepherd broke into our sheep paddocks and began to tear into our flock. One tired lamb, exhausted from the chase laid quietly down as the dog tore her into pieces. I ran and beat the ever living life out of that dog but even in it's last dying moments the lamb never fought off her attacker.

I was becoming this lamb. It is time I begin to fight back. Not against those around me but the accuser himself. So what will this look like? I don't know. Right now it looks like a mess because I am moving forward and fighting flesh at the same time. Instead of the Lord taking the clay and forming the clump into another earthen vessel (Isaiah 64:8 & Jeremiah 18:3-4) I see the Lord taking that clay placing it in a mold and out comes Gumby. Pliable, flexible and ready to be used by Him no matter what I am stretched into. So get ready world, Livin' is going green and bendy.

Asking "What will it take?" and hearing "How much are you willing to give?"

I have been asking a question lately over and over again to the Lord. "What will it take Lord?" What will it take for me to see more of You? What will it take to move into the next level with You? I am ready Lord do it what ever it takes. Push me off the cliff if You have too. The Father responded differently than I had anticipated. He answered with a question. "How much are you willing to give?" I wasn't sure about this question. I thought I had been giving all I have. What else do you want?

This post is not for the faint of heart. It is not for those who are comfortable with life.

The Lord got right in my face and said "I want it all! Your time, gifts, your intimacy, your children, your husband, your thoughts, your dreams. I want whatever you will give Me. I am waiting for you to jump into this next level but are you willing to do what it takes?" Ouch!! The finger of the Lord was on my heart and the pressure was so intense. I knew I had to begin to look at those areas in my life where I was still not willing to give up. Even in areas that I had given up, He was calling me into something deeper.

I guess the reason I am writing this post is not to condemn any one else, I know this was a word for our family and myself, but to encourage others. I want the Body of Christ to be a living , tangible, powerful expression of our Lord. I have agreed with the Father that I will sacrifice, give and listen to whatever He says to usher in these new anointtings and outpourings. I want my children to see the real power of Jesus and not just know the stories. I want the Holy Spirit to be always with us guiding our footsteps. I want the world to know He is alive and powerful and ready to take back a generation for His Bride. He has come and His heavenly visitations are becoming more frequent. I will do whatever it takes and give whatever He needs me to give.

Fearfully & Wonderfully Made

Last year I taught an art class at our church for Children's Ministry. It was so much fun. I took various art mediums and applied them to Kingdom principles. We learned pottery, weaving, painting, drawing and oragomi. Each week and each project would emphasize a Kingdom principle like: we are the clay in the potters hand or we need to allow God to transform us through the renewing of our minds. The weaving really brought me back to an old love of mine that I don't regularly do any more. I wanted to share some things the Lord shared with me about weaving through this class experience.

Here is a picture of my loom. In Psalm 139 the Bible talks about being woven or knitted in your mothers womb. Do you realize all that that means? When starting a project a weaver must first design their project. You take calculations and begin to figure out patterns, color and length/width. You can make anything from a table runner to cloth that will be sewn into a garment. I had a local artisian I apprenticed under who wove an entire suit of silk. It was beautiful.

So now that you have the calculations and design you measure every strand of yarn. Now that might not sound serious but take into the fact that most woven pieces have threads ranging from 100's into the 1,000's. My largest project took over 2,000 strands of yarn.

After you have measured you now thread each one individually following specific patterns. This can take hours up to days worth of work. After you have finished threading you now begin to weave.

See God not only wove you and I but he painstakingly designed & threaded you by His mighty hand. Like I told the children not one project is the same. Each is unique. Think of the time and effort God took to make you. Never doubt how wonderfully you are made. We are part of His awesome workmanship (Eph. 2:10) I know, I am preaching to myself too.:)

There you go just a little lesson about weaving and the Bible. My two favorite subjects. Hopefully by this spring TCC can teach me how to do this Bloggy Giveaway thing and I can give a hand woven table runner or rug away. Do you think some body would sign up for it?

I would love to start a fiber arts guild in the area with weavers, spinners, knitters and such but I don't really think I could squeeze one more thing into my schedule. I am getting the bug to start weaving again and thankfully Rocker is very interested. This would help to have someone encouraging me to weave once more.