Repriortizing Life

I have had some very horrible and stressful weeks lately. Things seem to be blowing up all over the place here and I have come to realize I need to settle down some and refocus. There are some things raising up with my extended family again that are hard to deal with right now and my marriage has hit a bump in the road. Yes, you heard me right. Even Godly people can struggle living together. Remember we vowed "For better or for worse". So here we are, in the midst of the worst at times.

You see when you marry, you bring your baggage and he brings his. At first you keep it hidden deep in the closets of your heart hoping to lose it all and start a fresh. Then slowly but surely the baggage falls out of the closet and you now have a mess to clean up. Not only does your baggage fall out all over the place but your bundle of crap knocks over his bundle of crap too. You both are dazed and confused as you behold the enormous mess all over and think to yourselves "Where did this come from? I thought I loved him and he loved me? Does this mean we weren't made for each other?" Of course the answer is you do still love each other but you need to stop stuffing your pain and allow each other to unload your baggage with the Lord.

My Knight and I have unloaded a lot of crap to the Lord. We were actually doing really well when suddenly someone knocked us off our pedestals and we are back to being dazed and confused. I actually got mad at the Lord this time and yelled at Him last week "We were doing great! Why are you doing this to us?!" I know dumb question but when your in pain you lose your mind from time to time. So we are picking up the pieces of more fallen baggage hidden deep in our hearts. We are not separating or anything like that but it was quite volatile. It can really hurt when you think everything is going swimmingly and you take a blind hit, it can really throw you for a loop.

So for right now we have both prayed about what we need to step out of. We have filled our lives with things to do and not given ourselves enough quality time to seek each others hearts and God's. The kids have been amazing through all of this. They even prayed with us one evening after a bad (bad is an understatement but I don't know what word would fit) day of arguing. The Lord revealed so much truth about us through the kids I was blown away.

We now need to spend more time together, less time just doing & more time in the Father's presence. So if you don't hear from me for a while via phone, email, cyber space it's because our family needs to heal more. The Lord did answer me about why He was doing this. He gently whispered "Where I need you to go and what I want you to do as a family I need this stuff out of you, so yes it was I who knocked you off your pedestals and brought this to the surface. I need you whole and I desire you to have peace but to bring the peace sometimes I need to stir the waters into a storm. Just remember how quickly I can calm that storm too."

That's where we are right now. Not perfect and definitely not "there" yet but constantly moving forward.