Wednesday, November 26, 2008

From Christmas Past

My Knight is on the once a year blogging program so I get to snag one of his family's stories for the Holidays. I just think this is so funny and really epitomizes his entire family. We are heading up there tomorrow about 4am.

Well, my Knight had a Great Uncle Tom who was known for making everything by duck tape and coming up with unique contraptions. He was also a huge railroad fan in his day. Uncle Tom and Aunt Marion have past on now but their memories will always be with us. They were definitely a life loving couple.

Aunt Marion was known as the lady who would bring pie and green bean casserole to Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner. She would throw everything together for the pies and casserole. Then in Uncle Tom fashion they would wrap the pies and casserole in aluminum foil. Here's the best part.... Uncle Tom calculated how hot the engine of their car would get heading up the highway to My Knights family's house and how long it took to get there. He perfected this until each Thanksgiving and Christmas they would duck tape the dishes to the top of the engine under the hood and drive up for the holidays. By the time they arrived the pie was perfectly baked and the casserole was completely cooked. How this happened I am still amazed.  Personally I never was able to partake in this amazing meal because they both passed away before we were married. I asked my Knight if it tasted like gasoline, oil or fumes but he insists it's the best darn pies and casserole he ever had, except for mine. :)

This is a true story. Honest, I hear about it every year. The kids (my husband is #2 out of 7) would all run out to meet Uncle Tom and watch him lift up the hood of his car to get the food. It is a little back woods were my husband grew up but I guess they were very ingenious. I would still probably not be able to eat it knowing it was near fuel and oil but it didn't hurt my Knight any.

So Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!

Monday, November 24, 2008

A Breakthrough For Me

Is it OK to be a little open and honest here? I have been struggling for some time with rejection in my life. It seems with every breath I take I am faced with the onslaught of rejection. Over the years it isolated me and caused me to step into some very dark corners of fear but recently I have been making some head way. Well, not me but God has been making some head way in my life.

I wanted to see a really big break through lately in this area. Not just to be abel to recognize the sting of rejection right away and deal with it with the Lord but maybe, possibly to not even feel the sting any more. To walk in security of who I am as a daughter of the Most High God. Yes, my rejection issues stem from my identity or what I wrapped my identity around.

This year off has been awesome to just sit in His presence and hear the Father say I am His over and over again. Apparently it's sinking in. Saturday night during service I felt so at peace for the first time in 11 years. I mean it. It sounds sad, I know, to think someone can sit in the service of a wonderful church and not find peace. My anxiety was not brought on by the fact that I wasn't born again but by the fact I was an orphan. I came knowing I was part of the gathering but not a part of the family. I used to struggle every service with "Will they notice me? Why can't I get a word? Why are they special and not me?" This is the honesty part I was talking about. I battled with feeling left out, like I was an invisible women. I felt like I needed to jump up and down and throw a tantrum in front of the entire congregation just so they would know I was there.

I needed to be recognized by someone!!!

Now I know who I needed that from. I needed it from the Father not people. Any time I tried getting that need met from others I was rejected. Thus the vicious cycle. I felt so at peace this service. I walked in as family knowing my place and seeing others as sisters and brothers. Think of it, you don't mind supporting your sister or brother in their talent or gift do you. Family loves seeing each other reach to new heights but outsiders want to fight for their position and surely cannot encourage others like family does.

This incredible weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I didn't care if the Lord didn't formally recognize me this weekend because I knew who I was. I saw Him standing next to me the whole time. Oddly enough I saw Him standing next to each person and their was no jealousy. I Love It!!!!

Will I face rejection again at some point? Most definitely, but this time I am prepared to walk it out in a whole other way. I take it to Father, let Him correct my view and walk out of it stronger than before. Let's grab a hold of our identity in Christ. It brings freedom and life. I can't wait till the day that the Body at large charges forward into the enemy's territory as an Army of One. It's Time!!!!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

The Embarassing Ordeal At the Pharmacy

Yesterday I had to go to the Pharmacy to pick up a bucket load of prescriptions for my bronchitis and sinus infection. It was after school let up so the boys were with me. It's not really bad taking the boys places any more. They are pretty good and nothing near like it was when they were all under 4.

I had to wait a little longer than normal to have them filled out since there were 4 prescriptions all together. We did run around the grocery store for a little and I let the boys pick out their own soda or drink of their choice (that's a big thing in our house). After a paid for that stuff we walked back to the Pharmacy department to wait some more.

Well the funniest thing happened. The boys got busy looking at all the pharmacy stuff for sale on the wall next to the pick-up window. It was maily diabetic strips and testers and things. Then they followed the wall to the end. To my horror I relized they were looking and pointing to the Birth Control/Pregnacy test wall. They were litterally pointing and touching the boxs of condoms all neatly displayed. As I gasped I realized there were other adults around them pointing and looking very disgusted as these three young men seem to be captivated by the boxes of condoms.

I yelled, queitly (if that is at all possible) "Boys, get over here." All the people turned to see they belonged to me. I burst into laughter as the boys walked over. I asked them "What in the world are you looking at?" One of them replied they were looking at the Trojan boxes, were they trading cards? I began to laugh even harder. "No, the are certainly not trading cards?" Rocker and Shaggy thought it was about the Trojan horse and the Greeks and all that.

So when they realized it wasn't trading cards they asked what were they. I said they were condoms. Now take into consideration I am standing in line with other adults all around me waiting on their meds so I am trying to keep our voices down. Shaggy pipes up really loud "Condoms!"

I tried shushing him but now all three were in a frenzy trying to guess what condoms were. Oh my word!!! We have had the "Talk" with the two older ones and we even had this specific topic but for some reason they didn't remember. So I quickly and queitly explain what it was. The two olders ones said very loudly, "Oh yeah, I remember!" and then squirmed around and made disgusted faces. DK who wasn't privy to the converstaion because he was fliting around the bake goods counter came back singing a song about condoms. The child sings and dances constantly but why a song about condoms only the Lord knows.

So they call me to the counter. I quickly snatched the meds and rushed my embarassing crew out to the car to finish our conversation. Then at breakfast this morning they remembered to share this all with their dad. My Knight almost split his side laughing so hard. I asked him why is it he is never around for this stuff? Why do I get all the sex questions and conversations? He smile and replied "You are a mom of three boys, get used to it."

So if you ever see three boys about 10, 8 & 6 standing around the condom display rack don't panic just look for the woman trying to hide in the corner of the store, it's probably my three learning more facts of life or disusing the Trojan wars.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

I'm a Bow!!

You Are a Bow

You don't think of it as the holiday season - you think of it as the present season!

What Christmas Ornament Are You?

I do like gifts but more on the giving side then receiving. It kills me to keep them all a secret until Christmas because I just want to surprise everyone now. I love seeing their eye light up when the kids get a special present! It sounds bad but I do like the present season!

Monday, November 17, 2008

a Precious Moment

Tonight was a precious moment. We have a 73 year old lady who lives two houses down from ours that has become the neighborhood great-grand mom. Every day after school (as long as it's not raining) the boys run down to check on Miss Hope. She smiles so big and says to them "Come in, come in. Twak to me." She was born Porto Rico and raised in the Bronx. Uprooted to Pa when her kids were little. She has lived here ever since.

A lot of our neighbors take care of her and check in but we love to do the same too. She has family close by but she so loves the boys dropping in to say hello. In the summer time she always has ice cream treats and popsicles for them. We have brought her food and gifts in the past but today I felt nudged to ask her to dinner. I guess I have been so busy lately I just never thought about it before. But now the Lord has cleared my schedule and I feel its time, probably over due.

So I made home made Cheese Broccoli Soup and brownies and had Miss Hope over. It was so wonderful. Her family is from Porto Rico and she loved teaching the boys some Spanish. Her actual name is Esperanza which means Hope. When she enteren school in the Bronx the teachers did not want to pronounce her Spanish name so they began to call her Hope. It stuck.

She had so much fun and so did we. The boys and her went through my Knights Baseball card collection and she rambled off all the stats on every player. She is a huge Yankees fan. I just love her. So after 3 hours of food and fun we walked her home and she thanked me for a wonderful night. Then she stopped and turned and thanked me for a wonderful friendship. I just about broke into tears. In her strong New York accent she said to me "We must do this again, my dear."

"Absolutely, Hope." I replied. She blew me a kiss good night and I headed back home. My heart is filled and I realize how much I love connecting with others. I love hearing the stories from years gone by, sharing moments with new moms as their kiddos experience the next stage, gathering with friends for prayer and reaching out to those who just need someone who cares. I may not run to the big parties or hang out with the most popular at church or in life for that matter but you can always find me with those who light up my world... my family and anyone out there who others may tend to forget about. This is where I find my purpose and my joy just cooking dinner for someone and listening to their heart.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

A Slap On My Wrist

Early in the morning you are faced with your child melting down at the bus stop. Instead of reacting you just simply say let's go home and talk. You don't force the child on the bus to go to school screaming and crying. You then call the school and let them know the honest truth. You don't lie and tell them he isn't feeling well, you tell them he is emotionally spent right now and needs a mental health day.

You then spend the morning drinking coffee with him and spending time with him talking and doing things. He improves. The next morning you send him back with a note telling the school of his absence and reason. Again no illness just emotionally distraught. You make an appointment to go in and talk with one of your counseling Pastors and let the school know about this so they will let him out next week.

You get a phone call from the school guidance counselor intern about 3:30pm that afternoon. In all her kindness and sincerity she explains to you that your son acquired an unexcused absence for that day and that if it continues we will then have to face the administration for allowing your child to miss school. She thanked me for making an appointment with a counselor but emphasised if you child continues you must bring him to school any way and leave him in the office where they will transition him.

Sigh............all I was trying to do was help my son and love on him. I felt it was necessary and felt strongly that the Lord did not want me to lie about why he was home. I did not get upset with the young women and understood her position but still in some way it hurts. I do not do this on a regular basis and my kids have an awesome track record at school. So why can't the school be encouraged that a mom and dad are interested in the well being of their son even if it is for his emotional well being. So what do you think? Was I wrong or is this where the school system steps their boundaries? I don't know I am honestly going to have to process this one with the Lord. My kids mean the world to me and I guess if their well being means a slap on my wrist then I am going to have to take it.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Do You Know Me?

Got this great Quiz from Beautiful Grace!!

How Much Do You Know Livin'
1) What type of schooling did I have?

home schooled

Public School

Private School

A & B

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The 5 Love Languages of Children

It's a book by Gary Chapman & Ross Campbell. It is based off of the book The Five Love Languages that Gary Chapman also authored. We picked up a copy the other day and my Knight and I have been reading it. For the most part the Love Languages are the same but it helps to explain how children express them differently than adults do. The best part is it has a Love Language test at the end of the book for your kids to take. It's similar to the one in the other book but kids understand it. So we had the boys take the test. We were right on with Rocker and Shaggy because they are similar to my husband and I but Drama King blew us away. Here are the results....

Shaggy's Love Languages (1-least used 10- most used)

Physical Touch- 3
Words Of Affirmation- 2
Gifts- 4
Acts Of Service- 4
Quality Time- 7
Rocker's Love Languages
Physical Touch- 5
Words Of Affirmation- 1
Gifts- 6
Acts of Service- 1
Quality Time- 7
DK's Love Languages
Physical Touch-4
Words of Affirmation- 1
Gifts- 5
Acts of Service- 3
Quality Time- 7

The funny thing is how high each of them scored on Quality Time. Now my Knight and I are going to re-evaluated how we express our love to each of them . For me Physical Touch is easy because I flow naturally in Physical Touch as my main Love Language where as for my Knight that is harder for him. Quality Time won't be too hard either because that is both  our top Love Languages. The only problem comes by the finding of time for Quality Time.

The book also stressed that their Love Languages may changed with them as they grow and go through various stages of life but for now it helps us identify how we can best show our love to them at this time. We might need to work a little on this.

I guess I am writing this to encourage parents and spouses to take a look at this. It has helped us a lot in our marriage and I believe it will help us communicate love to our children very effectively. Go out and give it a try.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Bus Stop Confessions

The greatest part about being a mom is seeing your children move in the Spirit. Sometimes that means they have words for you as their parent. In our house we have taught our boys to hear the voice of God and also given them the ability to speak in love and truth to us. They do it respectably and honorably.

Yesterday heading to the bus stop the boys and I were talking about the School of Ministry class I am taking at our Church. They wanted to know what I was learning and what the Lord was speaking to me. As I was sharing Rocker just kinda stopped in the alley we take to the bus stop. He said to me "Mom, you know dad loves you." His eye were sincere and loving. I told him yes. He continued "When you and dad fight you say things like he doesn't love you but he really does and I think he is really trying to show you. He doesn't always get it right but dad loves you and us." Shaggy was standing there staring at me and so was DK. Their hearts were filled with absolute love. No disrespect but just truth. Shaggy agreed and added with "He does love you mom he just sometimes doesn't always show it. I know he loves me too."

I felt like a cartoon character that just had an anvil dropped on my head. They were speaking directly from the heart of the Father. The Lord had been talking to me about this very thing in my quiet time. I asked for forgiveness in the way I have talked to my Knight in front of them and how I have treated their father when I was angry. I confessed to them I had been wrong and I wanted to change. I asked them to pray for me. Within moments we were back on track to the bus stop and now talking about the new playground they were going to build at our local park.

The significance of those words and the prophetic timing was amazing. Late that afternoon Plain and Simple called out of the blue to offer baby sitting so my Knight and I could go out on a date. When I told him at work what Plain & Simple offered guess what my Knight wanted to do? Go watch Fireproof. I had not told him about what the boys shared with me. I watched that evening and the Lord ministered to me powerfully. I talked with Rocker and Shaggy as we were all driving home and told them how right on they were with hearing from the Lord and how prophetic their words were. I thanked them for being obedient to the Holy Spirit but also speaking in such love and honor.

My children have a voice in our house and it has brought more healing in our lives then any word we have ever gotten from another person. Let's train our children to hear and speak the voice of God.

Friday, November 7, 2008

So Much... Overflowing

There is so much on my heart right now it is overflowing....

A deep desire to go higher and reach up into the heavens.

Time of preparation for the remnant church in America.

Knowledge and joy of all God has done for me.

Joy to be a mom and raise a generation of History Makers.

Ability to go through the fire and come out refined not singed.

Prayer for our Nation because much will be coming.

Heart cry for the church to arise in this hour, the wheat and tears will be sifted.

To know I have been called and chosen  beyond my own means. Nothing I did but the pure love of God.

Seeing your children grow in their true Christ centered identities. Awesome.

Leaving this world behind and setting my eyes on God.

Picking up my sword and preparing for battle!!!

We have been called for such a time as this.

Thursday, November 6, 2008


A week or so ago my family and I were over at our dear friends house (aka spiritual family). We get together to laugh, cry and pray. We have also been stretching each other by staying accountable to one another as sisters and brothers in Christ. Well that evening they shared with me how they noticed I tend to tear my self down a lot. My Knight agreed and I know he has actually talked to me about this before. I just didn't believe him. See I don't always see it. I say things and don't realize what I am saying about myself.

I grew up like this. If you didn't joke about yourself then someone else would. If you tried to say you were good at something than you were stuck up. I grew up with all that false humility crap in my life but even now it still haunts me. The problem though is I don't know when I begin to tear myself down. It just has become second nature. So the three of them (my husband, spiritual sister and spiritual brother) said they needed a code word they could say to get me to realize I was heading down that self destructive path. My sis said "Muskrat". We all joked and thought it was funny. My husband actually used it the other day and it worked. We were talking about something and then all of a sudden he said "Muskrat". At first I didn't get it and I replied with "What??!!" He smiled and said it again. By that time I got it and we were able to talk about the conversation.

The really funny thing happened today though. I wanted a picture of a muskrat so I went online to look them up. First of all they are ugly little creatures. I mean look at that stupid little white mustache and wiry tail. Then I read an article about one that destroyed a town. I believe it was in 2000 with all the flooding up and down the Mississippi River. A small town in Mississippi set up a sand barrier to keep the approaching flood waters out. Everything was going well. The sand barrier was working until someone noticed a rodent like creature out on the middle of the barrier. It was a muskrat. That pesky critter burrowed right though the barrier and water came pouring through. They were all helpless to do anything. One lady commented about getting a gun and shooting it but by that time it had already damaged their only hope. Within a few hours the barrier broke and water came rushing into the town. Muskrat's burrow under and through everything. They are actually a big nuisance in the mid-west. you think God is trying to tell me something. How many times in my life have I allowed this "muskrat" thinking to destroy the plans and purposes of God in my life? Yes, I might have thought "It's just words, it's not going to hurt" but it can be just enough to allow the water to trickle in and then the flood comes. I have done it long enough now I must look like Swiss Cheese in the Spirit. No wonder I can get discouraged quickly or even depressed. I have this muskrat in my life making holes in my identity. So when the enemy comes like a flood against me it actually doesn't take much to burst through.

Thank you, thank you sis and brother. It was a timely word that had more prophetic, anointed significance then you even realized. I loved too that you both (and my Knight included) were able to help me see this without shame or condemnation. You two are an amazing blessing to our family. So go a head, as soon as you hear me going down this path of verbal tearing down yell "Muskrat" and I will know exactly what's going on. Unlike the poor town in Mississippi I am ready to get my gun out and shoot this rodent. With so many people reading this post who go to our church it will be really funny if this gets out and everyone starts telling me "muskrat". I give you my permission.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Reaching Higher

Right now I have a burning hearts desire to see Elementary aged kids reach higher with our Lord. I don't say this because I want to exclude Youth or adults but there are so many opportunities out there for them to do so. For Elementary aged kids the opportunities are almost non-existent. My heart is crying out to see a change in the atmosphere. To see the final walls to generational barriers come down. We are taking the right steps but I know we are now coming to the next one. How do we equip and release our kids?

Our home is buzzing with opportunities for training. Mainly because of my heart and my husbands heart but I just don't want it to stop there though. I want other children to have a God language, hear the voice of the Father, see angels, pray for the sick and reach out for so much more. I am going to be pressing in for that release. The Lord has laid it on my heart to create a Children's conference. I don't mean one for Children's Ministry workers I am talking about a kids conference. Take this past conference at our church. I desire to see it done for kids. Can you picture it; fire tunnels, kids ministry teams, prophetic ministry by kids for kids. We could have breakout sessions where kids choose classes from various topics equipping them and releasing them. It's a dream of mine and I am pressing in for it to be released and come into fruition.

Then I dream of taking this to other countries. Can you imagine? It's just something that burns inside of me and I want to reach higher. I want to lay hold of the heavenly things and pull them down to earth for our kids.

Will you reach up with me?!

Monday, November 3, 2008

Revisiting Pokemon

Last week the boys came to me and asked for more information on Pokemon. I remember many years ago our church sent out information about it and I got the gist of it. Pokemon was not something I wanted my kids getting into and they seemed to accept that very well. 

Well there seems to be a huge resurgence of Pokemon, Yugioh, Bakugan and Duel Masters. They are all Trading Card Games (TCG'S). Star Wars even has their own version and Disney recently came out with a version called Kingdom Hearts. Many of these games seem harmless until you investigate deeper into them. The boys asked me if we could find information on why Pokemon and some of these other games are so bad. They were not asking for themselves but out of concern for their friends who have gotten sucked into this new wave. Rocker told me his heart hurt last week because our neighbor was collecting and playing Pokemon pretty heavily. Rocker said nothing he told D would change his mind. Telling kids it's evil just doesn't work. They need information and education. So I set to work finding the info they needed that would be applicable to them.

See we can't tell these kids it's of the devil or from the occult. Most of them have never heard this stuff before. I prayed and asked for wisdom. My first stop was at the website of Wizards of the Coast. They are the creators of Dungeons and Dragons and Magic the Gathering. Card games that are blatantly occult. They are also the creators of Pokemon. Well come to find out after some research Wizards of the Coast lost their licencesure for Pokemon and it was bought out by Nintendo in 2003. It's popularity was waning because of it's association to Wizards of the Coast. Although Nintendo bought out the rights they have not altered the game any. I found a great video on YouTube that explained the evilness behind Pokemon and allowed the boys to watch it. The best comment was not about the occults influence in creating Pokemon but the cartoon characters themselves. This man explained if parents and kids have no understanding of the occult talking to them about it is useless. He explained that the moral value is what you can base your argument on.

Ash the main character in the cartoon is described as a know-it-all, selfish, hot headed, highly competitive, brat. His companion Misty is  seductively dressed and is also described as rash, flirtatious and competitive. Both wanting to be Pokemon masters will do anything to "Catch them all!" (refering to catching the Pokemon creatures) I sat down with the boys a couple of years ago and watched an episode with them. The rule in our house is new cartoons have to be watched with my husband and I before they are approved of. I was blown away with the cartoon characters behavior. I did not want my kids acting or behaving in that way at all. So I explained to the boys how we could approach this in the same manner. What benefits does Pokemon have on people's behavior? They were able to see the link between Pokemon and the occult but I felt they had more ammunition by understanding that the cartoon was encouraging very bad behavior.

I also began to look up and investigate other TCG's and was surprised to see the results. Wizard's of the Coast bought the rights to distribute Star Wars trading cards and MLB cards. They even had a sight where you could link to for Jedi Maser Counseling. Scary!  Duel Masters and Neo Pets are also made by Wizards of the Coast.

There is so much more I could post about TCG's. This was really only the tip of the ice berg. I guess my only real warning to parents right now is check into the games your  children are playing. They may seem harmless enough but many have such dark under tones. Legends of Zelda, one of my favorite video games is directly connected to the occult. Disney's Kingdom Hearts is also a very dark magical TCG. Here is a quote taken directly from their website...

"In the Kingdom Hearts TCG, friends are essential to success! Beloved Disney characters such as Goofy and Donald Duck will aid you in your quest, but you had best use them wisely, since each friend will be discarded after use.

Each friend has a level, a Strength Value that can boost the strength of the Player Card, and a Magic Value the friend can use to cast magic." 

Role playing games in general are not good for kids to get involved in. Anything that encourages children to take on the identity of a make-believe character can begin to distort their view of reality. As they advance into the games the fine line of imagination and reality blur. When their character suddenly dies or is injured in the game they themselves can mentally, emotionally and sometimes physically become ill. Please look into the background of your video games and card games. Things are not as innocent as they first appear.