Thursday, April 30, 2009

Time To Get In God's Presence

I feel a strong urgency to get into God's presence everyday right now and I want to share that with many of you. As a mom with little ones I know that seems daunting. I remember those days when I had barely enough time to get a shower let alone time with God. So here's what I feel to share. This isn't about devotions or reading scripture chapter by chapter. This is turning on praise music and sitting on your living room floor and being silent before God. Even with the kids older now I will tell them "Mama needs to hear God right now, you can either join me or go play for a few minutes." Surprisingly they will slowly congregate downstairs and sit quietly while they watch me.

With little ones I just sat and soaked even with them climbing all over me. Look at it as you are showing them how to enter His presence even as a toddler. I wanted to share with you all some stuff God downloaded to me about myself, my Knight and my family when I gave Him some time. It's just an example of the stuff God wants to give to you. It's encouragement, words of alignment, parental advice and even marital advice. He's got it all. So here's just an example from my life...

I have not placed your Knight here to fail but to succeed and to be more successful then he can be or imagine. Remember Joseph and what you read this morning (I was reading the story of Joseph this morning from Genesis) Reference to what the Spice Traders gave Joseph's brothers for him in payment - it was a prophetic declaration of what I was going to do for him. First- they gave him perfume ( a fragrant offering, incense/ prayers/offering) Second- balm: the Hebrew word used there means to be broken or crushed (through that process it becomes a medicine) Thirdly - myrrh : it is the oil that the Egyptians dipped their Pharaoh's fake beards and hair pieces in. It was made from the oil scrapped off of sheep and goats. I was letting his brothers know what would become of Joseph. Your Knight is a Joseph, a dreamer. He has been a pleasing perfume and sacrifice. Right now he feels the crushing and breaking process but through it all I will give him great favor just like I did Joseph. Next will come the anointing and release into authority beyond his years. He will be providing a refuge for his entire family like Joseph. Even like Joseph I have sent him to a far off place. It is time to raise your Knight up now. Parenting - Time to change! What worked in the past is no longer valid. You must instill purity and righteousness in these men. They will not be buffaloed by the world. Livin' watch your mouth. At times silence will be your best weapon of warfare. Knight love like you have never loved before. Livin' step away from friendship with the boys. You are falling into the lie your boys won't love you later unless you are their friend. That is not true. They will not only love you but honor you. Fall on your Knights strengths to guide you through this next stage. He will have the wisdom for this time, you will have the compassion and mercy. You each must spend time alone with them. Don't talk about what they are doing so much but use that time to speak life into them and to bless them and to speak their destiny into existence. Marital - Livin get in my presence EVERY day. Let your Knight teach you discipline. I am putting him over you as a drill sergeant for a time. He will be a very loving one. :) God smiled! Read the book "Who Switched Off My Brain?" again. You must stop these thoughts. Knight continue in my word but do not fret about the time. Learn from Livin how to get in My presence where ever you are. You need to have Livin' teach you how to become more like a butterfly. Spend time in my presence together like you have. I am making you new again. Get ready for transformation!! Shaggy needs reassurance he is becoming a man. Rocker needs reassurance he belongs. DK needs reassurance he will not lose his place or that he is not just last. Reassure them with My love and blessings. EVERYDAY! Livin' loosen your grip on your Knight and take hold of Me. He's not going any where! :) God smiled again.

Yes, the Father doesn't mince words with me but see how much He wants to be a part of your life. Be passionate! Be aggressive about getting into the presence of God and quieting yourself long enough to hear. Don't worry about praying to Him right now just start listening. Do what ever it takes to make time for Him. He has so much to tell us about ourselves, our kids, our loved ones. When we hear what He is saying we can then pray in power because we are in agreement with heaven. I am so excited for each of you because as you make time for the Father He is going to breakthrough into your lives in such a powerful and awesome way. I know because He has done it for me and He is just so darn excited to do it for you!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

My Husband Deserves A Medal

My Knight is my best friend, my love, my all, but this weekend he came through as my hero too. Late Sunday night I was hit with a stomach virus. I am really bad with these types of bugs. I started throwing up at 11 Sunday night and didn't stop until 6am Monday morning. I had 15 minute intervals between each episode.

My Knight stayed up the entire time praying for me and at times just holding my hand. I scared myself a couple times when I choked and couldn't breath and he had to do the Heimlich so he stuck with me in the bathroom to make sure I was OK. Here we are, I am laying on our bathroom floor sprawled out on towels and he is sitting next to me such a romantic picture. Our bathroom is very small so that was a feet in and of itself.

Any way, finally by 6am I had settled down enough for my husband to put me in our actual bed. No more then 5 minutes after he laid down did Rocker come down puking. Up he went to take care of him. While Rocker was then situated in the bathroom my Knight came and laid back down for just a minute until we were both horribly awakened by what sounded like Niagara Falls in our hallway. This time it was Shaggy. He had come down to get to the bathroom but unfortunately the toilet was already occupied. My Knight and I worked on cleaning it all up and settling the boys in our small sitting room on the floor so if they needed too they could make it to the bathroom on time. We also set up puke buckets all over the house just in case.

I finally laid back down but my Knight kept going. You see he called off of work to stay home and take care of us but he had to sign on to the computer and finish up some things from last week by the close of business Monday. Even with no sleep he still kept going. That to me is true love. He was amazing. At 3pm he finally crashed on our bed next to me until about 6pm when he got back up to get everyone fed (if they could eat) and ready for bed.

Today we are all a little better. Two of the boys went back to school, only Shaggy and I are left. I threw up so hard for so long yesterday that I pulled all my lower back and stomach muscles. I feel a little better but am in a lot of pain. Shaggy was the last one to get sick yesterday so we kept him home just to make sure.

If any of you see my Knight this week or next let him know how good of a dad and husband he is. He needs a little encouragement now and again. I truly feel blessed to have him in my life and know that he loves each of us so much he will take care of us in the midst of sickness. He is a great man!!!!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009


I am going through this season of supposedly rest but I am exhausted. It just doesn't seem like I am getting enough rest or sleep at night, I don't know. A lot has to do with this season of transition we are going through as a family. My Knights new schedule at work is hard to adjust too, all three kids are in school which has increased my time at school (and to think I waited all these years for a break) and even though church events are less I have really been pouring more of myself out then ever before just onto my family. I had this crazy idea that toddler and preschool years were the hard draining years but now I am hit with the realization the older they get the harder it is. Now they just don't depend on me for their physical needs as much but the emotional and spiritual drain is quite overwhelming at times.

I am glad in many ways that I have gotten so much healing I can be this pillar now in our family instead of the one draining everyone but I have a new lesson to learn. How in the world do you rest as a mom? Where do you go? What do you do?

Today I feel stretched to the point of being pulled apart. It has been weeks of no breaks, no place of rest. My Knights job situation has been so stressful that I have taken a back seat to meeting any of my own needs. I know it's been terribly hard on him and us so I have let things go but I can feel the toll it's now taking on me. So what do I do? Lately my Knight has been going fishing early in the morning to escape and retreat. He comes back refreshed and ready but I am still here trying not to rip anyones head off. He told me last night it takes a sacrifice for him to go fishing because he is willing to get up at 6am before our day is in full swing. I understand his thought process but what the heck am I supposed to do at 6am. I used to fly fish and do enjoy fishing but I don't go out by myself for personal protection reasons (note here that my Knight would never let me go by myself) and just common sense for us girls.

I have been getting some amazing time with the Lord but I am great need of just not being needed for a few hours. I finally broke down Sunday afternoon and asked my Knight to make dinner. He kept asking me what I wanted and honestly I told him I didn't even want to have to think just go do something. That's where I am right now. I want a place to rest. I want to not be needed for a few hours and possibly not even be at home where I am constantly reminded of the needs. So I ask all of you moms out there have you been here before or maybe you are here like me right now? Any suggestions? We don't have extra money to spend and not many childcare opportunities so any creative things anyone has done to just get some solitude would be appreciated? Let me know. This week is jammed packed again with things that we have to get through and it will probably be another week or two before things let up but I just need a break. I need to find some place rest my weary mind, body and soul. I would love to find that bed in the picture and crawl into it for a few hours. It looks like it's deep in a forest somewhere the pressing needs of the day couldn't find me. Has anyone else felt this before?

Monday, April 13, 2009

We Didn't Celebrate Easter This Year

This year my Knight and I felt very strongly not to celebrate Easter. Instead we celebrated Passover. To explain this whole revelation would fill a post all by itself so I will have leave that for another day. I can say from this day on we will be celebrating the Feasts of the Lord. It was just an awesome experience.

The boys transitioned well over to Passover. After explaining our feelings about the Holidays and the traditions of Passover they were surprisingly excited to experience this new experience. Our day was filled with cleaning the "chametz" (or none kosher foods) from our house and preparing the foods for the "Seder plate" and the Passover meal. The boys really enjoyed going to the store and buying all the kosher foods, especially the Lamb shank bone for the Seder plate.

We also took a trip to the Wine store and I bought red wine for Passover. After researching Jewish traditions I found out that Wine is the encouraged beverage and that Jewish families allow their children to partake of the wine on this evening. I should note they use small wine goblets and only fill to 1/3 of the glass is full.

So when evening came we were ready. On Thursday night (Actual Passover evening) one of our Pastors with our School Of Ministry walked us through the Passover meal and Seder plate. She also handed us a little booklet taking us through each step and prayer. Another great resource is Most of my recipes and meal ideas came from this website.

Even in the midst this evenings spiritual impact the Passover in our household did have some lively, let's just say memorable moments. We were reminded of the National Lampoon's Christmas movie a couple times during the evening. The Father does have a sense of humor and I believe He took our sincerity and laughed with us times. It started with DK. He had been very tired already from a late evening the night before. I could tell he was running out of energy but at 6 he just won't take naps. When we finally sat down for Passover his eyes were very heavy. As my Knight started to recite one of the first lengthy blessings DK fell asleep and his head slipped off his hand and slammed into the table. Right off the bat we had to pray for his boo boo & kiss his head before we could get back to the blessing. He has quite the little goose egg on his head.

Then it came time for us to light the candle and my Knight began to read the prayer that follows. I was listening intently until I saw smoke rising from our booklet. Needless to say we set our Passover booklet on fire. Prayer interrupted again until the fire was out. During the Seder meal you consume exactly 4 glasses of wine. Very symbolic and cool but I just can't explain it all here. The problem we ran into is neither of us had had anything to eat since 7am and after three glasses of wine we started to feel it. No it isn't because we can't hold our liquor but you have to realize during the Seder meal you really don't eat anything. So here we are downing three glasses of wine on an empty stomach. Let's just say I am glad only our Passover booklet was set on fire. :) Next time we will remember to eat lunch.

To finish off the evening we had to partake of the bitter herbs which is represented by horseradish. Not something we like at all in the Livin' house but it is part of the tradition so we did take some. You are only supposed to take a little and mix it with an apple mixture, romaine and matzah. Unfortunately Rocker didn't listen very well and took a huge bite of it. He is our hates all textures and weird tastes child. Consequently he began to gag and basically vomited on his Seder plate. I just yelled "get to the bathroom and throw up, don't throw up on your Seder plate". That wasn't in the booklet at all.

We ended the evening with our fourth and final cup of wine and prayed our last blessing. Then we ate our Passover meal. Overall it was a great experience and the kids walked away with so much more wonder about our God and His Word. They were able to experience what Jesus did as a child and on His last Passover with His disciples (minus the banging of the head, setting things on fire, getting tipsy & vomiting out the bitter herbs).

Sunday became a day of nothing for us. We went to Burger King as a treat for me from the kids and my Knight for all the work I did the day before. We had Burger King all to our selves since no one else was there and then we headed out to the park. It was a great weekend. I highly recommend families participating in a Seder or Passover celebration at least once in their life just don't follow us step by step go get a good book about it. I will leave you with an bit of one of the prayers from the Seder. May each of you be blessed...
Praised be He, Oh Lord our God, King of the universe, Who gave us life, sustained us, and enabled us to reach this season of joy.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Running On Empty

As a child my mom was notorious for running out of gas in the car. I remember many times stuck somewhere because we the gas gauge was reading empty. Of course this was all before cell phones were a phenomenon so we would have to walk to a gas station or walk somewhere to call for help. Because of my past experience with running out of gas I never let the van go very far without refueling. It put the fear of God in me as a child so now every time it gets to a 1/4 tank I run immediately to the gas station to filler up.

But what about our spiritual life? How empty do we allow ourselves to get before we fill up? I know for me it has been a hard lesson to learn. Instead of being left on the side of the road with a car that will go no further, I find myself broken down and out of "gas" emotionally and spiritually. I am a go, go, go kind of person. I live on the edge of the cliff, fly by the seat of my pants but unfortunately my daily intake of the Lords Presence tended to also fall in this type of lifestyle. Instead of a daily filling I would get a spiritual high and go for as long as I could push it. Even when the little "low gas" symbol blinked on my dash I pushed to see how far I could go.

The Father is no longer allowing me to do this. He has let me crash and burn pretty hard lately because its making me realize how much I don't want to end up back at that same spot. The Father has been speaking to me about giving from only my overflow. Hmmmm, that means I need to be full to overflow not burning fumes and hoping to coast to a near by gas station. I have gotten tired of "walking home" because I ran out of fuel. All that we do should be out of our overflow. Whatever just spills over not us dipping into the reserves. So now I am walking out this daily filling. I have been doing well and then last week I slipped back into coasting and by Sunday I was crashing and burning. The good thing is it didn't take me long to get back into His Presence and get filled up again.

We need to check with the Father about all we are doing. We live in a very self driven society. Our society tells us we must be involved in every minsitry, at all times and in every activiy you can think of. This season of rest for has shown me that for me and my family we must make choices and choose only to participate in the activity the Lord has called us too. That means for us the kids don't do sports or go every time the church the doors are open. We need to be filled here first and then go out and splash out over other with our overflowing spirits.

Are you running on fumes? Are you just coasting right now? Take it from someone who has bought the farm a few too many times, only give out of your overflow. Fill yourself daily with the Presence of the Lord. Ask Him where you should give of your overflow and learn to rest in His Presence. It totally beats crashing and burning all the time and your fruitfulness because of your time with the Father is exponential. God is good and His mercy endures forever. Let's just all spend some time with Him and give out of our overflow!