Monday, January 7, 2008

Vertical or Horizontal Stripes

The other day I had the unfortunate business of returning a Christmas gift. You know one of those pieces of clothing that look great in the store on display but was never intended for an actual human person to wear. Well the task was even greater because I had to take all three boys. Now you must understand I actually don't like shopping. I am a get in, get out kind of gal, but with three boys in toe it was not going to be that easy.

After a long process of exchanging the garment for a store gift card we headed to the women's department. I heard a dozen complaints and "Aren't we done yet?" before we even passed the main entrance. Well I know this wasn't going to be fun so I was going to make it as painless as possible and hurry through the clothes to find something. Of course no one else was getting the point so the three of them lagged behind.

Finally I found a sweater I liked and was holding it up determining the proper size when Rocker, my middle son, approached and asked if that's what I wanted. I told him yes I just needed to find my size. With a very disgusted look on his face he promptly told "Mommy you know stripes this way makes you look fat but stripes up and down make you look skinny. I wouldn't get that." Well blow me away I was stunned and in shock and stood there staring at him. How did he know that and when did he become my fashion consultant? He then proceeded to rifle through the sweaters and picked out a solid color. "Here mommy this is pretty and it would go well with your dirty blond hair." Adding insult to injury my mouth hung open. Is my hair really dirty blond? This is my son isn't it? I looked around to see if I could spot TV camera's maybe I was on some reality show or something.

I informed Rocker (who is turning 8 at the end of Jan.) that I really liked the sweater and I didn't think my hair was dirty blond. We debated back and forth for a few more moments on these pressing issues until I realized Shaggy was trying to get Drama King, the youngest, to hide in between clothes racks and then ditch his younger brother. I gathered my crew together and picked up my sweater (the one with horizontal stripes because I really liked it) and headed to the cashier. While waiting to check out Rocker reassured me of his love and that I would look beautiful with whatever I wore. As I quote "It's whats inside of you mommy that counts even if you wear the wrong stripes."

Even without girls I still am critiqued on hair and clothes styles. So what do you think horizontal or vertical stripes, or you just don't care like me? Just a side note Rocker was actually not being disrespectful during this entire exchange. He really seemed concerned for my poor fashion choice.

6 comments:

Emily said...

I have heard that horizontal stripes make a person look wider and vertical makes you look taller. But I think stores carry horizontal stripes more than vertical.

On the other hand, I don't think you need to worry about looking "wider".

Hands-Free Heart said...

I think you'll look just fine in horizontal stripes! I definitely "should" be wearing vertical, according to any fashion police, but I do have some horizontal striped tops that I really like. So I guess that mostly, I don't really care. Wear what you like!

This Journey of Mine said...

Okay, I'm one of those girls who should not be wearing horizontal stripes. However, how many times do you really find an instyle shirt that has vertical stripes on it?? One that looks good?

Personally, I think your frame can handle the horizonal look!

And your son is hilarious! Sweet too, as he wanted to make sure that you knew he loved you.

Mrs. C said...

That is true about the stripes but I agree with the others - you could wear any stripes and still look good.

Regarding Rocker's fashion knowlegde, there are many men that help determine the trends of the fashion industry. Having one who is considerate and wants us to look good is always a plus!

Finally, I couldn't help but wonder if the song "Man looks on the outside but God looks on the heart" played a role in his thinking. :) We've just begun singing that during worship in the Children's Ministry.

Melissa said...

Ok...the whole stripes thing aside, I laughed hysterically reading this!

The Gang's Momma! said...

OMIGOSH! That's hilarious. I love his sincerity and intensity - both in the fashion critiquing and in assuring you that he loves you despite your choice.

And I agree with the other gals, unless you've morphed into a completely different body frame shape and size since I've moved (?!), I think you are safe with either stripes. Me? I avoid horizontals whenever possible :)