Through the Survivors Eyes

I recently read on the Internet today a list of ways to help women keep themselves safe from rapists. It was entitled Through the Rapists Eyes. I have no hard feelings towards those who publish this list but with those who created it. I feel as someone who has experienced this first hand I must speak out.

I am absolutely appalled that we write comments about how rapists view their victims. How many of you wear ponytails? How many of us sit in cars while rifling through our purse at the store? Should we now look over our shoulders at every turn? This just breeds fear in our hearts and brings shame to those who have experienced rape. They are terrorists and their methodology is to keep us in fear. God is the only one in control in our lives. If we want to encourage and uplift the women in our lives pray for them. Hedge them in with your prayers and love. Actually the list testifies that there is no one thing that draws the attacker to the victim. It changes from attacker to attacker. How can we say it is wisdom to educate women this way? We basically tell them you could fall victim no matter what you do. They actually made the statement it is better to paranoid than dead. That is no life at all!!!

I have lived through rape and sexual abuse. I no longer walk in fear! That is only because I heard the Lord specifically say to me there was nothing I could have done. I do not walk looking behind me anymore because I pray for protection and not depend on a list of defense techniques or apparel warnings. Please, Please, hear my heart. When you post this list you throw it in the faces of women who have been raped that they did something wrong. This list allows the attackers to revert the blame back to the victims. We were in the wrong place at the wrong time. We wore something attractive making us targets. We did not fight hard enough. This is the message you are sending out to women.

There is nothing you can do but pray and fight in this type of attack. All of life flashes before you in a split second and you are not remembering a list of do's and don'ts you only react. But when the attacker is 100 lbs. bigger than you, your strength is not enough. Some are lucky who escape but for those of us who could not, you cannot present a list of things we should have done. You only hurl insult, shame, and guilt.

For those of you like me who have survived, there is complete freedom from shame and guilt. Our Father in Heaven washes it away as far as the East is from the West. It wasn't your fault. You did nothing to deserve this. Your hair, attitude, clothing had nothing to do with that mans evil intents. For the sake of us, survivors of this type of brutal attack, please do not circulate this any more. You are not helping other women to avoid this but only creating fear in their lives. Give them the only protection we can offer one another, pray for your sisters! And for those of us who have survived rape this interview with our attackers only allows them one last blow!!!!!