There are few things that feel absolutely hopeless to me in my life, except one; my family. I am faced with more crap again and I just want to throw my hands up and say "I'm done with this. I wash my hands of this." That isn't what the Lord wants though. What He desires me to do, stretches me until my utmost breaking point.
He showed me a picture of my family and how no one else prays for them. No one is there declaring freedom or truth over them. He showed me a startling revelation that if I did not stand in the gap for my family there would be no one there to do it. I know that Jesus intercedes for us daily, but the revelation the Lord shared with me is that I hold a key. What am I going to do with it? I am tired. I am tired of the fighting, the mud slinging, and the accusations that are thrown at me on a weekly basis, but the idea of my family going to hell hurts more.
So I reach out my hand again and again and again. I will continue until the Lord Almighty tells me to stop. I will declare His truth over them and I will stand against the fiery arrows of the enemy. I remember in Lord of the Rings when Gandolf was standing with Pippin at Minas Tirith before the great battle. Pippin spoke to Gandolf as though questioning and stating "there is still hope." Gandolf smiled and replied "Only a fools hope." Jesus was mocked as a fool. His journey to the cross was met with laughter and jeering. I stand now on a fools hope knowing He conquered all. So in the midst of the pain and the hurt and the daily battle I stand with Jesus. One day my family will see the Glory of the Lord and all this crap will have been worth it all. For now I just stand.
3 comments:
Holy Spirit strenthen Livin' Life even now. Allow her to feel You holding up her arms as the battles rage.
You have a unique and important position to stand in the gap for your family. But please don't be discouraged by satan's fiery darts, be encouraged he only throws his darts as those he considers to be a threat.
I'm standing with you - all we can do is that. I feel it every time I have a conversation with one my mom or brothers, thinking will they ever care about anyone outside themselves or admit they need help? My dad did come back to the Lord a few years ago, so that has definitely brought some hope.
I was reading this in the morning and I feel like you need to hear it too:
Psalm 30: 5 and 11
"For his anger enureth but a moment in his favor is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.
Thous hast turned for me my mourning into dancing: thou hast put off my ackcloth, and girded me with gladness."
You have favor with Him. Ask anything and He will give it to you.
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