A Visionary Learning to Rest...

I am what you call a visionary. Nothing fancy just someone who is always looking at the big picture and tends to forget the details of things here and there because my sights are always set for the horizon. I am also a very passionate person driven by my beliefs and convictions. In life this isn't bad but it needs to be tempered with some good doses of the here and now and restfulness. I guess that's why God put me with my Knight. He is an excellent daily source of the here and now and rest. He completes me. :)

In this season though the Lord is teaching me to rest. When your leader skills primarily come from vision you can tend to get ansy when things aren't going as you planned or "envisioned" them. Especially in regards to your walk with the Lord. I tend to get words from the Lord or hear Him speak to me about my life and then I wait patiently for Him to move. NOT!

Actually I hear or receive things from the Lord and then expect immediate results. I get easily frustrated when what the Lord spoke or promised doesn't come to pass quickly. Because of my vision type leadership I then feel I need to "do" something. I also second guess myself. "Did I hear right? Am I not doing the right things? Was that really the Lord or just that late night sub?"

This then gets me in trouble. I am now coming to grips with the reality that I need to rest. Vision is great but if you cannot trust in what the Lord has said then what's the point of listening. I will just keep giving up and moving on to something else and miss the blessing. Right now I am learning to walk this out. Let me tell you it isn't easy for me. I want to run and do and work but God keeps bringing me back to rest. He asks me "Do you trust me? Do you believe I am who I say I am? Then don't worry and rest." OK God, easier said then done but I will submit to this season.

So now I wait on Him as we wait on some promises. Some of the promises are for myself, my family, my husband and some are even larger in scope like for our State and Nation. In the midst of the waiting I must keep reminding myself of God's promises. I must rest in the assurance of who He says He is. This is a very difficult lesson for me to be learning but I keep telling God to help me so I don't have to come around this mountain again. I see the importance of those who lead out of Rest and those who lead out of Vision but I am really seeing the critical need to land some where in the middle of that spectrum. Jesus is our perfect example, he was not too far one way or the other. He knew who He was, what the Father wanted Him to do and He was great at just resting in that and not striving to make things work.

If you see me around and I am acting a little odder than normal you can just know that I am in the midst of learning a tough but needed lesson. I never thought resting could be such a difficult and tiring thing to do. :)