I would love to say that in every situation I have the faith to stand as the waves of life batter my small boat...but I don't. I am in a place right now of great discouragement. It mainly has to do with our housing situation and all of the surrounding circumstances would be a lot to go into detail but for now I just know that I don't have even the faith the size of a mustard seed. The smallest amount of faith I had has given way to disappointment and frustration .
I write this so others know that I am not all that and a bag of chips. I don't always have the answers or the strength. I get tired, weary and ready to give up at times.
I want so desperately for the Lord to come through. I want to see His glory reign in this area of my life however I am ye of little faith. I was prophesied over once to be a women of great faith and now that makes me snicker. I don't feel great and I don't feel like I have one shred of faith left in me. I see those who make their own way in life and get what they want. They get their blessing and receive all that they desire through their own means but I wait on the Lord for Him. I have heard their comments and know how they feel about us standing for a miracle and it wares me down.
Sometimes I get enough strength to want to show them they are wrong and bolster myself to pray and believe so that they can see that the Lord answers His faithful. But then I relent and back down. I have cried a lot today. I have poured out my heart and anger toward the Lord about our situation. I don't know what else to do. I am tired of waiting and I am tired of battling. So now I just become still and know He is God. There isn't anything else for me to do.
4 comments:
How does one becaome a "woman of great faith"? She has her faith tested and tested and tested. She walks through IMOPSSIBLE circumstances and on the other end, still stands. She sheds many tears, she may even question everything she believes in, but in the end she STANDS. This is the Lord forging you in the fire, dear. You can't become someone with great faith unless you go through this stuff and stand. And you are. You are still standing. You are doing well. :)
...and this is why I love you. You are real through it all and you know what it means to be still and know that He is God.
Classic Mama is right - you are still standing. Even when it feels like your legs have been swept out from under you - you are strong because you allow Him to be your strength.
It's a season to look and look again. You will look and see where God has been at work...and you will see those working on your behalf.
in the meantime, I send you hugs!
For we have seen discouragement far too often here...and we cheer you on!!
I told the Lord the other day, "You made me. You know I'm not wired to be a warrior. Be a warrior in me, Jesus." That evening I received a prophetic word, "You are a warrior." Apparently, God sees me differently than I see myself. God sees you differently as well. He sees that you have acknowledged you can't do this life thing without Him. I think I'd call that faith. Bless you, muchly!!!!
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