It's one of those times when you feel discouraged and down about your parenting abilities. I know most of the time God works in spite of me and not because of me but I am having one of those moments. Shaggy is struggling with his pre-teen angst. DK is over the top this week with his dramatics and Rocker is struggling because he feels neglected. Oh, boy! This Friday two guys are coming over in the evening to interview the boys for a documentary about kids seeing angels. Although that's great I feel discouraged. One instant we are walking the streets of Harrisburg praying for the sick and the lost and the next minute we are dealing with attitudes. One minute they are telling us about the angles and supernatural things they see and then the next moment we are breaking up an all out WWF match in the boys room. Is this all normal? Did even the great men and women of God from years gone by give their parents lip?
My Knight shared with me that this is normal and it's life. He asked me do I always have it all together? Do I struggle? Of course I said yes but I guess as a mom I take this stuff as a reflection of me instead of realizing that these three young men in my house are now making decisions on their own. The days of just telling them what to do are gone and now it is the process of showing them that their decisions have consequences whether good or bad. They also need to determine their own beliefs and thoughts. So I see the larger picture and the Lord's hand through all of this but it is still hard in the midst of it. I don't want my boys to make the same bad choices I did or to have to carry their pain with them for the rest of their lives but I also can't do it for them. I guess this is my realization that I can no longer carry them any more. They need to walk on their own and even fall a few times to learn how to run. So there you have it. Again the good the bad and the ugly at the Livin' household. So very far from perfect but so very close to the Lord. Now I need some comfort food and coffee and praise music.
After thought... if we do make it through all this I think I am going to write a book about parenting. I will call it "If I Could Do IT So Can You". It will be about how God worked through us and not about our wonderful parenting skills or anything. I am ready for a book like that right now. Don't give me strategies just give me testimonies.
3 comments:
I'm sitting here smiling and just thinking over and over how much I love you. We really are walking through this together, aren't we? So many times I get these really deep theological answers from Scarlett about life and the Lord and then, she's pitching a hissy fit about, oh I don't know, you pick it. I think to myself, Lord aren't we past this yet? I suppose it's then that I have to turn around and ask myself why I pitch hissy fits and get into fights with my husband on the same week when I've given someone a prophetic word. sigh. Yeah. I think I'm still an adolescent too. :)
Most certainly, Yes. We've got the same thing here too. Our (currently unnamed) 10 year old just last night was expressing his thoughts on the blessings of Edom and how Israel will inherit what remains of the portion of that blessing - and then this morning when he has to write out the months of the year in cursive it takes him nearly 1 1/2 hours because his bottom lip sticks out so far over his paper he can't see what he's writing.... ;)
And then...yes - my wife and myself certainly share in our antagonistic and even immature arguments over the silliest things....and then try to be so deep and spiritual with others...
"Thus sayeth the Lord...we need to grow up" ;)
I love your honest heart. And honestly, I don't know anyone who isn't or hasn't been there. Children have short attention spans and many thoughts and ideas go through them throughout the day. Praise God He allows us the priviledge of seeing they do see and understand and walk in His ways, not consistently but as we have all confessed, neither do we. They do exemplify godly character and are pursuing the King and His Kingdom. He is patient and longsuffering with us, and so He is expecting us to do likewise, with our children, and anyone else that is a child of the King. That's all of us!
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