Thursday, October 9, 2008

A Mama's Broken Heart

Today I went to school to eat lunch with Shaggy. It was a fun time and I enjoyed his table of friends. I was also allowed to join them at recess, something I did not know you could do. I went out and sat at a picnic table as the kids ran around like chickens with their heads cut off. Then I witnessed exactly what Shaggy had been sharing with us. I saw Shaggy join in on a kickball game with his fellow 4th graders. I was very shocked to see the blatant bullying. Two teachers were on the sidelines chatting and watching the playground equipment during this whole scenario but not one of them did anything to stop the young men.

While there wasn't any physical battles a group of about 4 young men, well trained in emotional and verbal bullying, began to unleash their abuse on the kickball field. Shaggy along with a handle full of other "outsiders" or boys who these young men considered lower then they were, were completely ignored and rejected during the entire game. These 4 young men played around them and considered Shaggy and his friends invisible. When Shaggy or any of the other boys tried to play they were yelled at and called names. My heart broke. I couldn't stand watching it but I felt helpless because I have no authority on that playground. My son tried his best to stay positive and keep going but the more they ignored him and repeatedly called him names, the lower his head drooped. He began to play as though there was a weight hung around his shoulders.

I HATE BULLYING!!! We have seen the effects and toll it takes on people. I do not hate those young men and women who have lashed out in violence because of the cruel way they were treated by their peers. I understand violence is not the answer but we need to realize what drove those precious young men and women to the breaking point. What I saw on the playground today is only the beginning. These young men will enter Middle School and High School and their tactics and techniques will only get more abusive.

I will be praying for a breakthrough in our school. If our church is standing for a Cancer Free region than I as a mom can stand for a Bullying Free School District. These young men and women need to know Christ and have an encounter with Him. I have contacted the School and we are going to be working with them on some practical solutions but in the end a heart change needs to take place. So I go with a heavy heart and tears to war on behalf of my son and the countless other kids that are being hurt by others. Please keep us in prayer. This one is really tough and Shaggy doesn't want to go to school any more. After witnessing what I did today I almost hate sending him back, but I know we must press in and not run and hide. This really hurt today.

4 comments:

Kelli said...

Standing with you!

Hands-Free Heart said...

Wow. This issue is so tough for me. I learned a lot of coping strategies as I was "teased" a lot of this stuff from 3rd grade on up to probably 9th. I never have a clue as to what authorities can and should do to educate bullies in a way that would point them toward that needed heart change!

Coolmama said...

Standing with you too! One thing that I think that has helped my kids is our prayers over them for favor with their peers and with the administration they come into contact with on a regular basis. When I do remember to take time to pray for them Gods favor to be upon them is the biggest thing I ask for for them. It has always seemed to help. Perhaps it would help if I can get my guy to talk to yours and let him know that you can be an honors student and be into whatever sports or other interests and still be "cool". Fortunately my son hasnt really had to deal with bullying. The little princess on the other hand has the catty girl issues, but it still doesnt dwell on bullying at this point. Sorry to hear about this, if we can help in any way let us know!

Anonymous said...

I agree that prayer is the best weapon and that schools can only do so much, but I am glad to hear they are willing to work on it.

BTW, Carol Gray at The Gray Center has done a lot of work on bullying. Although most of her stuff deals with kids with Asperger's or autism, a lot of the bullying information could be applied elsewhere.