"In marriage, I have learned there are those who admit they have been through times when they wondered if their marriage would make it, and then there are liars. Relationships are hard, and the closer they are, the harder they can be. I tell everyone that I give premarital counseling to that the Lord has ordained their marriage in order to kill both of them! That is true. It is also worth it! The greatest gift He gave to man was marriage and family. However, to have a marriage that is good, both will have to die to themselves. If either one does not make the commitment to lay down their life for their mate and their family, then what was meant to be heaven can be hell." -Rick Joyner
This quote is so powerful and healing to me. For one thing it releases me from the condemnation that because my Knight and I struggle at times that that doesn't mean something is wrong with us or that we are messed up. Gary Thomas wrote a book titled Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage To Make Us Holy More Than To Make Us Happy? I highly recommend this book. My Knight and I have found over the years the one main theme the Lord reveals to us time and time again through our pain is His faithfulness to remove things in our lives that are keeping us from intimacy with Him. This includes marriage.
Our selfish ambitions and desires come to the surface quickly when you share your life with your spouse. I have lived in Hell for a period of time with our marriage and it was all because we were not willing to lay down our flesh and stubbornness and selfish desires for one another. Again like I said about the things I have gone through in my past even if they bring me to the point of death, if it brings me closer to God and to a greater intimacy with Him then they were all worth it. The pain of marriage is worth it all when we come closer to God and one another. Do I like it? No! Would I do it all over again? Yes! If someone gave me the chance to go back through my past and remove all the bad things in my life I would decline. Those things have brought me to the feet of Jesus. My tears have become His. My marriage and family life is still yet another area where God is bringing me closer to Him through the pain.
Let's stop fantasizing about Make-believe marriages where they lived happily ever after. Let's walk in marriages that live through it all no matter how much the storm throws at us. Let's die to live!
So what does this quote invoke in you about your marriage?
5 comments:
I think this is a wonderful quote. I started reading this book a few years ago and somehow never finished it; maybe I should pick it up again.
I will always remember hearing a speaker say that marriage is not about each partner giving 50%; it's about both partners giving 100%!
I was speaking to a friend the other day, actually it was my anniversay day, that after 24 years of marriage, I now have a "real marriage." Not to say that I wasn't really married before, but saying that now we deal with issues, generational/personal, head on. We no longer ignore them and hope they will go away. This has been painful, very painful, BUT the fruit of it for me is that I am closer to my Jesus and more like the wife He has called me to be. Am I always "happy" with my marriage, NO. What exactly does that mean anyway? No one is perfect, so if that is the case, a marriage is made up of two imperfect people, therefore, no marriage can be perfect, but we are being "perfected" through it.
After many many years of marriage, I have discovered that if you want to have a realllly great marriage, you have to go through some stuff. It's the going through. It's the declaration that each agrees that no matter what, we are going to go through. And even beyond that, it's in choosing to allow God to weed the garden of our marriage. Do you know when it's the easiest to weed? After the rain!!
:) I agree with all the smart ladies who commented before me.
4 years and I wouldn't give anything to start over again. During these years, we have fought and learned so many things. Perfect? Nope. For it to be perfect, we'd both have to be perfect and then, what's the good in being married. Being married forces you to look and all your stuff and deal with it.
I forget who said it, but..."If you want to have a ministry like Jesus, stay single, but if you'd liek to be like Jesus, get married."
It's funny, I was talking with a young lady last evening about marriage. I told her about how CJ and I sometimes say to each other the following phrase, "Right now I love you, but I don't like you."
It's our way of communicating that we are solid enough in our relationship that we deep down love each other. But at that moment we are sick of each other and each others issues, flesh, and hurt.
When I told this young woman that she stood aghast for a quick second. How could a sweet married couple say that to each other???
And that is when I reminded her that society and tv has either played up marriage as though its perfect OR made it out to be not worth while.
It's time to be honest with each other and those around us. Marriage is not easy. Living with my husband is not as I had hoped it would be. Dealing with his flesh and his baggage and how he is can be exhausting at times.
And yet, I am madly in love with him. I am thankful that God paired me with this man. Even in the rougher times, I am now able to stand back and be thankful that God is using CJ to change me and grow me.
It is good!
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