A Personal Journal Entry

My heart is yearning for more of You, but how can a heart long for something it holds at arms length. Nothing in this world compares to You oh God, but how can so much become idols of worship in my life. Fear, rejection, anxiety, and worry rule my life where Your throne should stand. I no longer want the daily routines of life. My life needs to be extraordinary for You or nothing at all. What is life if it is not in You? I live with no time to spare knowing so many worthless things take up my spare time. Things that are worthless only because You are not there in the midst. I haven't invited You. I haven't spent time in Your presence. What meaningless life I live if it is without the One who gave me life.

More. More of You. Tare down the idols, lay low the gods I have placed before Your face. If I cannot shine with your glory then life is meaningless. Take all I have and all I will be for Your Kingdom. Take my children and my husband for their lives apart from Your will is meaningless. Through You will they only find peace and joy and life abundantly. Take it Lord. It was Yours to begin with and I declare it all belongs to You once more. Whatever it takes to break the vileness from my soul do it. Dangerous prayers are my only hope. You rescued me in my darkest hour of need. Now again I am faced with oppression and war. My complacency is more destructive then my desperation. My life will have meaning in You or it will be nothing. Lord move like You have never before in me so that I will blaze with Your fire of Truth and all will know Your Glory!